- 5 months ago
- Wedding: March 2015 - Los Angeles, CA
Why is this getting marked as spam??
Please bare with me as I’m just an emotional mess and feeling guilty AF.
Darling Husband and I adopted a 13 week old pomeranian, Stella. We have watched her grow since the day she was born. Darling Husband and I had agreed that we were ready to take on this responisbility since we WERE actively TTC and thought this would kickstart the process of our (what I thought was) an exciting life change.
We’ve had Stella for 4 days now and she’s been TONS of work! I’m not going to lie, it’s been hard to change my lifestyle around, especially when some co-workers wanted to go out after work but I had to run home. I took it a little hard, but as soon as I saw her, I was like “yep. worth it!”. She’s pretty good at sleeping through the night, waking up once or twice to go to the bathroom, which i get up to take her out, then she goes right to sleep as soon as I put her in her playpen, which is in our room. I walk her, take her for vaccines, feed her, play with her, and constantly worry about her while I’m at work (I have a dog walker come in mid day, alone for no more than 4 hours at a time right now). It’s been physically exhausting, but I’m just so smitten by her!
However, yesterday Darling Husband gave me the shock of my life. He indirectly asked me to give her back. Yesterday morning she was going crazy since I had moved her to the kitchen while I was getting ready, and Darling Husband got up super mad “this is ridiculous” and went straight to the bathroom. I didn’t say anything. But when he got home last night, he was being super distant. I asked him what was wrong (which I kind of already knew) and he said he didn’t want to talk about it. After I told him that communication was key in any relationship, he finally said that I had made the decision to get Stella on my own!!! Yes, I was the one who brought up getting a dog because it was something I really wanted and was willing to make the time and commitment for, but it’s not like he came out and told me he didn’t really want to do this. When I told him that he should have spoken up, and I would have held off, he said that he shouldn’t HAVE to telll me that and it should have been obvious because he wasn’t excited. OMG!!!! I responded by saying that he always does this and he can’t expect me to read his mind just because we’ve been together 12 years. He responded by saying that I was being “too emotional and irrational and that we would discuss it tomorrow”. I immeditely took Stella out for a walk to calm myself, and called my friend who gave me great advice.
The one thing that has been on my mind all night and day, what when my friend told me that I should take my husbands feelings seriously, and that the relationship is more important. Because of my lack os sleep, and emotional state, I’m leaning towards giving her back because I feel she deserves a home where she is truly wanted. But this decision is making me feel guilty AF. This is not what I wanted.
Some background info, he saus she’s weird looking (merle pom with one blue and one green eye), and isn’t the most playful dog ever. Yes, she’s chill, but I love that about her. Oh, and she doesn’t play fetch, which he thinks makes her dumb!!!!
I’ve also decided to stop TTC. This has given a HUGE idea what to expect IF i have a child with this man. Honestly, if I have to rehome Stella, I don’t know if my relationship can survive this. If he can’t handle a puppy, how the hell will he handle a baby? “Babies are different” he says. You sir, are wrong I have half a mind to call the foster mom to see what my options are, but it’s killing me on the inside.
All advice will be helpful. Picture of Stella has been included. How can you not love her!!!