Puppy and DH – Emotional Mess

posted 4 weeks ago in Pets
Post # 151
2299 posts
Buzzing bee

LilliV :  what’s wrong with locking a kid in a crate while you run to the store? now you’ve got me completely second-guessing my potential parenting capacity lol

Post # 152
2299 posts
Buzzing bee

ohsomrsr15 :  I don’t want to hint at equivalencies between puppies and human children; however, the larger issue IMO is your husband’s complete dismissiveness and refusal to accept accountability for the role he played in obtaining a puppy.

It really does scare me that if you guys have children, when they do something that causes him minor inconvenience (boo fucking hoo—your baby woke you up in the night because it’s hingry while YOU PUSHED A WHOLE ASS HUMAN OUT OF YOUR BODY), he will fully blame you for the choice to have a child in the first place. The dismissive attitude is horribly invalidating and it will erode your mental capacity in a very short amount of time.

IMO, I think you have two options:

1.) commit to keeping Stella, making re-homing a non-option

2.) REHOME STELLA IMMEDIATELY. Whatever you do, do NOT try to wait things out for a few more months hoping that your husband steps up, only to try getting rid of her after things don’t work out and you choose his happiness over keeping a dog. You will need to get rid of her while she’s still young and cute—everyone likes puppies. Do it while her cuteness and youth still appeals to potential adopters. people are severely less likely to sign up for a grown dog that has established habits and who will be slower to bond with another human because of the bond it created with its prior owner. 

You will neeed to make this decision immediately—whether that means staying in your marriage or leaving. Stella is not the issue here, though…but I think you know that 🙁

Post # 153
899 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

Omg so much this!! I have so many irrational fears and anxieties and my husband has NEVER called me irrational or emotional. He deals with all my crazy, if someone dismissed me and my puppy like this I’d be so done. It would forever color my opinion of that person! Sansa85 :  

Post # 154
7889 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

happiekrappie :  I mean if they are at least 2 and you leave them with a tablet that’s fine. It’s just the newborns you can’t lol 

Post # 155
161 posts
Blushing bee

Hi Bee

How are things now?

Post # 156
45 posts

ohsomrsr15 :  Lol bee, it sounds like Darling Husband is jealous of Stella tbh. Have you tried bonding he and the dog into family activities? I had this situation years ago, and my ex and I watched his mom’s dog who he despised. But, he and I loved watching Bar Rescue. My habit? Cuddling his mom’s dog while watching the show.


Eventually, he found himself petting her and then gradually cuddling her. By the time we broke up, he was calling his mom’s dog his baby!


Darling Husband will get there. But I just think he’s jealous she gets all of the attention right now. 

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