Puppy is causing a breakup?

posted 2 months ago in Emotional
  • poll: What should I do?
    Walk away : (144 votes)
    97 %
    Work it out : (5 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 76
    Member
    1452 posts
    Bumble bee

    Your dog is so freaking cute!!! You totally did the right thing bee. Don’t be afraid to go get your stuff this weekend, please take along a few friends or your mom and dad to help you move stuff out. If you have people there with you to help you, he won’t be able to get you alone to have another emotional conversation. Having people with you will stop him from interacting. You could also text him and let him know when you are coming over to get your things and let him know that you would appreciate him not being there and that you will have your friends etc. with you to help you move your stuff. 

    If he tries to engage you in conversation or asks if you two can talk, simply say, ” No. we have nothing futher to discuss.”  

    Post # 77
    Member
    605 posts
    Busy bee

    This isn’t the first time a dog has saved its human from a bad situation. Your pup just showed you the way. Super precious dog!! I hope your move goes smoothly. I do second the other Bees who have mentioned it— please take someone with you. Don’t go alone. 

    Post # 78
    Member
    94 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: Chesapeake, VA

    I believe compromise is important. I gave up a cat because his dog is nervous when other animals are near. 

    Post # 79
    Member
    2497 posts
    Buzzing bee

    ouiunbonvoyage :  How nice for you. That’s not a compromise, that’s just giving in. My dog was nervous with my cat. She got over it. Please no more sage advice.

    OP I’m glad you did the right thing. 

    Post # 80
    Member
    2578 posts
    Sugar bee

    Oh what AMAZING news!! I love that doggo face – how incredibly precious!

    Congratulations on making the hard, but STRONG choice, and setting yourself up for success and greater happiness in the future. 

    P.S. Don’t allow yourself to be alone with that turd ever again – bring a third party along if you MUST be around him!!!

    Post # 81
    Member
    336 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

    Good dog! good dog, saved mama. 🙂 

    Post # 82
    Member
    9688 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2010

    ouiunbonvoyage :  

    Dogs are among the most adaptable creatures on the planet. With a bit of time, patience, and work, your pup’s kitty anxiety could have most likely have been ameliorated.

    Solid obedience training is a huge confidence builder for any dog. It also gives anxious dogs some competing behaviors; a dog cannot freak out and do a sit or down-stay at the same time.

    Some guidance from a good trainer or behaviorist could have made all the difference.

    And pets can be separated when you are not there to supervise. There were many possible ways to resolve the situation without dumping the poor cat.  Please don’t get another.

    Post # 83
    Member
    3331 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

    beeinca2019 :  You absolutely made the right choice bee! I’m so sorry you’re hurting, but it will all be worth it when the dist settles. Your pup is SOOO cute!!! Spend lots of time snuggling your little furball and at dog parks. Definitely take someone with you to move your furniture out. No need to go alone and open yourself up to more emotional conversations. You have made your decision, it was the best decision fo you and your future, no need to make it harder by going there alone. I don’t really think you need to call the police for an escort unless he’s shown potential for abusive behavior in the past. A friend or your dad would surely suffice.

    Congrats on finding a new apartment. I hope you completely enjoy living on your own with your furbaby! I LOVED living alone after leaving a long term relationship (at 31, might I add) before meeting my now-Fiance. Get emotionally healthy, do things you love, live a life that makes you happy and you’ll attract the right person <3

    Post # 85
    Member
    82 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2029

    You did right leaving the relationship.   He wasn’t upfront w/you about pets and now that is an issue.  I adore animals and I always have to have some sort of pet.  When you are describing your situation, that brings me back to a guy I dated long distance.  He has cats, but really disliked mine.  My kitty is young and kind of crazy, but the sweetest cuddle bug ever.  He yelled at my cat and would always reprimand him even though he wasn’t doing anything bad.  My cat at that point had never bit anyone and he landed a deep bite on the guy.  I really think the guy hit my cat.  My cat hasn’t bitten anyone since.

    His behavior made me super uncomfortable.  He also raised a hand to strike my bird when he bit him.  I’ve gotten bit quite a few times (a couple to draw blood) and though that takes me by surprise I never strike or think of striking my pets.  

    Your ex doesn’t sound like someone who is patient.  You having doubts seals the confirmation that he isn’t right for you.  There will be a guy out there who will care for you and love animals as well.  My partner adores my pets and is even entertained at my cat’s antics.

    If he doesn’t have patience for the dog, idk how he will act towards a kid.  I could barely stand that behavior for a couple days (he was visiting), much less years down the road.  

    Post # 86
    Member
    3331 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

    beeinca2019 :  That’s so HUGE that people who don’t even know what’s going on say you seem happier & lighter. It’s amazing how much someone can drag you down without you even realizing it. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad dude, he just wasn’t the right dude for you and that’s perfectly OK! I was really scared to start over. I put it off for over 6 months but within the first couple of days, I too felt so much lighter and had a fabulous sense of freedom. Enjoy that feeling, remember it when you have bad days because even if you’re happy about the decision, you’ll still go through a bit of a mourning stage. It’s totally natural. This is a huge change. Re-read this thread when you need a reminder. But I hope most of your days are completely happy & free!

    Post # 87
    Member
    251 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2020 - City, State

    beeinca2019 :  So happy for you! You can do anything you set your mind to. I know the future holds many wonderful things for you!

    Post # 88
    Member
    836 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Chiming in because your post was really sad. A cat’s vulnerability, and their loyalty and love for their owner are worth just as much as a dog’s even if he’s nervous. As PPs said that was not a compromise….you gave up something and your partner didn’t…ouiunbonvoyage :  

    Post # 89
    Member
    9688 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2010

    Charliejeorge :  

    Naw.  It means he’s a bad dude.

    Post # 90
    Member
    136 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2020 - By the lake

    140 votes for walk away and only 5 votes for work it out.  So what does this mean?  Are you going to let him go?  If I were you, I would let him go.  Just because you’ve been that long with him doesn’t mean you have to marry him.  Now you see how he is with the puppy, he will probably like that with the children.  Good luck!

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