Post # 76
Your dog is so freaking cute!!! You totally did the right thing bee. Don’t be afraid to go get your stuff this weekend, please take along a few friends or your mom and dad to help you move stuff out. If you have people there with you to help you, he won’t be able to get you alone to have another emotional conversation. Having people with you will stop him from interacting. You could also text him and let him know when you are coming over to get your things and let him know that you would appreciate him not being there and that you will have your friends etc. with you to help you move your stuff.
If he tries to engage you in conversation or asks if you two can talk, simply say, ” No. we have nothing futher to discuss.”
Post # 77
This isn’t the first time a dog has saved its human from a bad situation. Your pup just showed you the way. Super precious dog!! I hope your move goes smoothly. I do second the other Bees who have mentioned it— please take someone with you. Don’t go alone.
Post # 78
I believe compromise is important. I gave up a cat because his dog is nervous when other animals are near.
Post # 79
How nice for you. That’s not a compromise, that’s just giving in. My dog was nervous with my cat. She got over it. Please no more sage advice.
OP I’m glad you did the right thing.
Post # 80
Oh what AMAZING news!! I love that doggo face – how incredibly precious!
Congratulations on making the hard, but STRONG choice, and setting yourself up for success and greater happiness in the future.
P.S. Don’t allow yourself to be alone with that turd ever again – bring a third party along if you MUST be around him!!!
Post # 81
- Wedding: June 2019 - City, State
Good dog! good dog, saved mama. 🙂
Post # 82
Dogs are among the most adaptable creatures on the planet. With a bit of time, patience, and work, your pup’s kitty anxiety could have most likely have been ameliorated.
Solid obedience training is a huge confidence builder for any dog. It also gives anxious dogs some competing behaviors; a dog cannot freak out and do a sit or down-stay at the same time.
Some guidance from a good trainer or behaviorist could have made all the difference.
And pets can be separated when you are not there to supervise. There were many possible ways to resolve the situation without dumping the poor cat. Please don’t get another.
Post # 83
- Wedding: November 2019 - Canada
You absolutely made the right choice bee! I’m so sorry you’re hurting, but it will all be worth it when the dist settles. Your pup is SOOO cute!!! Spend lots of time snuggling your little furball and at dog parks. Definitely take someone with you to move your furniture out. No need to go alone and open yourself up to more emotional conversations. You have made your decision, it was the best decision fo you and your future, no need to make it harder by going there alone. I don’t really think you need to call the police for an escort unless he’s shown potential for abusive behavior in the past. A friend or your dad would surely suffice.
Congrats on finding a new apartment. I hope you completely enjoy living on your own with your furbaby! I LOVED living alone after leaving a long term relationship (at 31, might I add) before meeting my now-Fiance. Get emotionally healthy, do things you love, live a life that makes you happy and you’ll attract the right person <3
Post # 84
Thank you!! That is so encouraging. I will be 30 this year and it’s scary to think I will be starting over while the rest of my friends are having kids. But, I am very excited to finally be out on my own and live my own life without having to think about anyone else. I’ve had 4 people this week tell me I look “so happy and feel lighter”, people that don’t know what I am going through. It reassures me of my decision and I feel confident living on my own will give me clarity on what I really want for my life partner. I am so excited for this chapter in my life. Congrats on finding your fiancé!
Post # 85
You did right leaving the relationship. He wasn’t upfront w/you about pets and now that is an issue. I adore animals and I always have to have some sort of pet. When you are describing your situation, that brings me back to a guy I dated long distance. He has cats, but really disliked mine. My kitty is young and kind of crazy, but the sweetest cuddle bug ever. He yelled at my cat and would always reprimand him even though he wasn’t doing anything bad. My cat at that point had never bit anyone and he landed a deep bite on the guy. I really think the guy hit my cat. My cat hasn’t bitten anyone since.
His behavior made me super uncomfortable. He also raised a hand to strike my bird when he bit him. I’ve gotten bit quite a few times (a couple to draw blood) and though that takes me by surprise I never strike or think of striking my pets.
Your ex doesn’t sound like someone who is patient. You having doubts seals the confirmation that he isn’t right for you. There will be a guy out there who will care for you and love animals as well. My partner adores my pets and is even entertained at my cat’s antics.
If he doesn’t have patience for the dog, idk how he will act towards a kid. I could barely stand that behavior for a couple days (he was visiting), much less years down the road.
Post # 86
- Wedding: November 2019 - Canada
That’s so HUGE that people who don’t even know what’s going on say you seem happier & lighter. It’s amazing how much someone can drag you down without you even realizing it. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad dude, he just wasn’t the right dude for you and that’s perfectly OK! I was really scared to start over. I put it off for over 6 months but within the first couple of days, I too felt so much lighter and had a fabulous sense of freedom. Enjoy that feeling, remember it when you have bad days because even if you’re happy about the decision, you’ll still go through a bit of a mourning stage. It’s totally natural. This is a huge change. Re-read this thread when you need a reminder. But I hope most of your days are completely happy & free!
Post # 87
- Wedding: March 2020 - City, State
So happy for you! You can do anything you set your mind to. I know the future holds many wonderful things for you!
Post # 88
Chiming in because your post was really sad. A cat’s vulnerability, and their loyalty and love for their owner are worth just as much as a dog’s even if he’s nervous. As PPs said that was not a compromise….you gave up something and your partner didn’t…ouiunbonvoyage :
Post # 89
Naw. It means he’s a bad dude.
Post # 90
140 votes for walk away and only 5 votes for work it out. So what does this mean? Are you going to let him go? If I were you, I would let him go. Just because you’ve been that long with him doesn’t mean you have to marry him. Now you see how he is with the puppy, he will probably like that with the children. Good luck!