Post # 16
- Wedding: October 2015 - Swaneset Bay Resort & Country Club
Well, I’m crazy and adopted a black lab puppy while 19 weeks pregnant. And let me tell you. It was SO hard. But I love my pup Lila. She will be one next month and my daughter is now 5 months old. I love that they get to grow up together in a way. She really motivated me to get out and walking while pregnant even when I didn’t want too and now she motivates me to get active and lose the baby weight.
If I were to do it again I would have likely got her, TTC, and then go from there. Getting the dog sooner means it’ll be trained before baby comes (hopefully). If you TTC this September there is no guarantee you will get pregnant right away so the dog could be a year old plus by the time baby comes and the first few months are generally the hardest with a puppy! Good training for when baby comes to… up all hours of the night!
Heres an old photo for added cuteness!
Post # 17
VikingPrincess : YES. Thank you.
OP, consider shelters and rescues. There are many dogs out there who need homes. Save a life.
Post # 18
I say BUY THE PUPPY!
My SO & I bought 2 puppies 3 months apart so we can have time to train them & bond with them before we have children, this is a good opportunity to be rough with the pups, teach them to deal with a baby/toddler and respect you and your SO before bringing something unexpected & noisy into the house.
It also is a great distracter, While you are trying you won’t be thinking and stressing about it all because who can do anything except stare at their puppy all day! I unfortunately have had 2 miscarriages, and having an adorable set of puppies to come home to made the world of difference for me and my SO. Here is my wonderful man & my two beautiful babies.
Post # 19
I would wait on the dogs…. we have a 6 month old baby and two well loved dogs but when the baby is a newborn life is incredibly busy. There was barely time to feed ourselves let alone take nice long walks with the dogs….
There was a recent thread about how much time new moms get to themselves and it’s pretty accurate and eye opening. Read that and see if you want to add a puppy to the mix…
New mums: How much time do/ did you get to yourself?
Don’t get me wrong, we love our two dogs so much and are so glad we have them, but timing wise I would not get a new pet if you want to TTC….
Post # 20
I have two dogs and a newborn. I feel so bad for my boys because they are use to having an active momma who will walk them and play frisbee everyday. Well, I had to get a c-section which has physically limited me. Hopefully, I can add them to my walks with the baby in three weeks. They are super resilient and have dealt well with the baby, but I wish I had more time to devote to them.
So, from my experience, I would wait until the baby is older.
Post # 21
Thank you so much for all your replies!
I thought I’d share a little more about my situation:
I feel frustration and pressure from the fact that I had to wait for 2 years before we TTC because of my health issue. My husband is 38 and he cares to have kids as soon as possible, so I feel some pressure from him. While he says he doesn’t want to pressure me, I still feel it. Personally, I care to try to have kids but I am not in a rush (I’m 31).
The idea of getting a puppy now is appealing to me because it would allow us to finally start our “family”. Get a puppy seems so much more concrete (real) than the idea of getting pregnant which is so abstract – who knows how long it will take for us to get pregnant. I keep thinking that getting pregnant can take a long time, there could be so many different issues. What are the odds that we get pregnant in the first few months of trying… In the meantime, I would be waiting without puppy and without baby. I feel like all I have been doing is waiting (to get off my medication) and I am tired and frustrated about it. Now, if I have to again wait before getting a puppy, I feel frustrated. I also hate the idea of waiting/being obsessed to get pregnant, and feel like the distraction of a puppy would be really pleasant during this TTC time.
I also feel that if I wait to have our baby first, I will not have energy to get a new puppy to train at that point so I will probably never have a dog until after many years, which I find unfortunate (we plan to hopefully have 2 or 3 kids not too spaced out). (We care to get a puppy and not an older dog).
I wanted to add that I work from home and part-time, so I do have a lot of free time. Knowing this, do you still think juggling a dog and a baby would be too intense?
If only I could know approximately how long it will be taking us to get pregnant it would make my decision so much easier.
Post # 22
ellagrey : I still wouldn’t advise getting a puppy only for you to neglect it as soon as the baby comes. That’s how a lot of dogs end up in the shelter. Also, I’d advise you to go through a rescue rather than a breeder when you are in fact ready.
Post # 23
It sounds to me like what you truly want is a baby and are looking to use a puppy as a substitute baby. I also worry about once you DO have a baby, what that will mean for your puppy. Once you have the dog and the baby, what if your dog starts acting out and destroying things or engaging in aggressive behavior due to your focus being more on the baby? Are you just going to get rid of the dog then because you now have what you really wanted? What if your dog becomes aggressive to your child? Will your first response be to get rid of the dog or are you going to have the will/time/energy to spend retraining the dog for appropriate behaviors? Dogs require constant training, it’s not like you do it once when they are a puppy and you’re done. Much like a child, lifestyle changes can cause behavioral changes in your dog that will require time/money/effort to work through. This is still not to mention my previous comment of the COST of the dog. Worst case scenario, could you afford the vet bills for a sick dog (in the thousands, vet bills are very expensive) as well as the doctor bills for a child as well as all the other monetary costs that come with having a child?
I am also still concerned because you’ve never had a dog before little less a puppy so I don’t feel like you 100% understand what you’re signing up for.
Post # 24
We are planning to get a dog shortly after having a baby (once life settles down a bit), and so I put in a vote to do what we plan to do, #adoptdontshop and rescuing an older dog. You could get one who is known to be great with kids and is already well-trained, but who is on the chiller side. A pup who will get you outside daily for walks and will be a loving part of the family, but who won’t be an insane ball of energy and is also happy to lounge in a dog bed instead of competing with the baby for precious spare time. Either before or after baby would work for an adult, chill, awesome dog.
Post # 25
I definitely wouldn’t get a puppy if you’ve never had a dog before. Our pup can’t be left alone yet, literally, and we’ve already spent thousands at the vet as Slow mentioned, due to puppy things like managing to eat something he shouldn’t have (even while being watched all day, a puppy is fast! And not always willing to “leave it”)
I agree with Libellueles re adopt don’t shop and with KittyYogi to adopt an older dog!
Do some research in the breed – even if a mix- and make sure it’s a good fit for you. Then go to meet the dog and take him/her on a walk, play a bit, see how the temperament works for you.
Make sure they aren’t snippy or a biter if you’re going to have a baby. This can be hard to judge in any animal that you’re just meeting, as it’s only natural for them to be wary, but after playing with them for a while if things are going well touch their sides and see how they respond. We had to train ours to get used to human touch, which he has, but it took 6 months.
So just be aware of all of these factors and get a dog that is low maintenance because a new Mom isn’t going to have training time and honestly I’m not sure a new Mom would want even more poop to clean, but I could be wrong😂
KittyYogi : libellules :
Post # 26
I would get a dog when you can devote at least 6-9 months training during the crucial puppy phases since you’ve never done it before. So, for me, that would mean get the dog as soon as possible and train throughout my pregnancy.
Cavaliers are pretty good dogs and don’t have a ton of behavioral issues you would have to battle like some other breeds. If bred well, they shouldn’t have excessive energy – high energy but not uncontrollable like a terrier can be.
When you do get a puppy, my best advice is to focus on teaching manners. You can teach a command in a matter of minutes to hours depending on how complex it is, but fixing behavioral issues when it comes to manners is an exhausting feat. Figure out the things you absolutely will not tolerate (for us, jumping up on people, bolting through doors, taking non-dog things, etc).
Post # 27
I have five dogs in my house right now, ranging in age from 8 months to 13 years. I have a dog door, a fully fenced backyard, and my dogs have their own room for while I’m away from the house. I have a pet sitter on speed dial. My vet is also my best friend. I have done everything to make sure that my dogs are set up for success. One of my dogs is a foster. The other four are mine, and two of those are rescues. I would recommend you look into rescuing or adopting a slightly older dog if you decide to get one at this time. Don’t start at puppyhood with your first dog. Get used to actually having a dog first.
I know for sure that even if I had a surprise oopsy pregnancy and a baby within the next 9 months, all of my dogs would be here to stay. They’re all completely trained. They know the schedule, and they know the drill. If you think you can reach what I call “animal zen” in your home before a baby would arrive, then by all means. But it will mean a lot of time and commitment to a new dog up front.
Post # 28
I would wait. After having a baby, my dogs lost a lot of my attention for the first year (my kid was a difficult baby). I felt like a horrible dog mom. Fortunately, my dogs are a lot older so they are trained, housebroken, and pretty patient with me since they’ve known years and years of my love and affection.
Post # 29
ellagrey : With this update. I definitely recommend you reconsider the puppy Vs older dog thing. Seriously, I love my puppy, but my elderly dog required much less energy and attention. I know you aren’t really in any hurry to get pregnant, but it could happen quickly and puppies are a handful no matter the breed.
I’d look for a 3-6 year old dog in a foster home, so the foster parent can give you a good idea of what that dogs personality is like and whether or not that dog would be good with small children. I’d also definitely adopt a cocker spaniel over king Charles simply because of the health thing, and because I love lady and the tramp lol.
Post # 30
I second the idea of an older dog. They’re not as cute but they’re SO much more manageable and easier to take care of. You can also get a better idea of their character and if they can be trusted to be around a baby. Some dogs are amazing with babies, others not so much.