"Purity," Sex Positivity and Religion

posted 5 months ago in Christian
Post # 16
249 posts
Helper bee

I am not religious. But I feel that we need to spend more time teaching girls how to protect themselves emotionally and physically. This goes beyond STIs and unplanned pregnancies… but being educated in picking better partners who respect them. If you are looking for a one nighter… then whatever you want but be safe… but you cannot expect stability from a one night stand. But if you are looking for a long term relationship… really evaluate the guy/girl before you jump in the sack. Take caution about the type of partners you get involved with… not worry about how “defiling” it is. 

So if I have a daughter someday… I will spend more time teaching her to just be careful in how and who when she chooses to start being active in that department. Not basically pre slut shaming her if she chooses to not wait.

Post # 17
1443 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

somathemagical :  Yep. It’s a feudalistic concept that got tied to religion.

Post # 18
227 posts
Helper bee

I grew up in a more or less nonreligious household, and around 13 got the whole “sex is probably best avoided as a teenager given the things that can go wrong but if you want to do it, here’s how to minimize the risks,” spiel. At the same time I was going to my friend’s church with her where they went on…and on…and on about how sex was terrible and you will DIE OF AIDS and you are gross if you do it. I even got a purity ring that I accidentally flushed down the toilet a week later. Oops.

I stopped going to that church (for many reasons) and went with my parents’ idea instead. Works great, no pregnancy, no death by AIDS, no shame.

Post # 19
2107 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

chelbell23 :  Ah thanks!! I just read your previous comment!

Post # 20
37 posts

Overjoyed :  Hi overjoyed! I love that you are both Christian and sex positive (I dont see that in alot of women) 

Here are my thoughts: 

I’m a practicing Catholic. Im also sexually active and unmarried (Scadelous, I know)

I had planned on waiting until marriage but was raped as a teenager. After that point I had a very weird, dirty and scared view of sex. Later on in highschool, I started dating a very kind guy whom I’m still good friends with today. In my mind I didnt want to feel broekn anymore and wanted to know how to be physcally loved and expereince pleasure npt pain. My highschool bf and I had sex and he helped me through alot of my issues. 

I don’t believe in sleeping around (to each her own, not judging sex is great!), but if I deeply care about someone I will show my love physically 

Post # 21
9552 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I personally think we need less purity and more ritualistic sex for magicks.

Post # 24
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

I grew up part of this movement. My parents taught only “no sex before marriage.” While I didn’t learn about sex from my parents, or my school, or my church, I did learn about how to feel about it. I do not know how it could have been better, because I am not sure there is a way to encourage waiting until you are married to have sex, and also make that a positive experience that builds healthy self esteem. I maintain my Christian faith, and I feel deeply rooted. However, I have every intention of teaching my children about their bodies, autonomy, and sex. My husband and I will normalize sex. If my children want to bring their partners to my home, I will be absolutely fine with that. My children feeling safe in their relationships, and their bodies is so incredibly important.  At the end of a life, an individual’s walk with Jesus is their own. I cannot influence true faith in my children any more than I can in any other grown person. My child can come to his or her own conclusion about when they are ready for sex. I am just going to make sure they know they are completely loved regardless of that choice. I do not want to be the reason they tie any faith they may have to sexual morality because it is destructive. It was for me, and lots of other women I know who continue to heal from the policing of their bodies, and their sexuality. I just won’t do it. 

Post # 26
2543 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

If you’re truly looking for a good religious discussion, you’ve come to the wrong place. The Bees are known for bashing these ideas-as you have already witnessed so far in this thread!!

Post # 28
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

I think it’s creepy that some religions put so much focus on sex. Why do they care so much? Sex is not as big a deal as lots of people make it out to be. People don’t change once they have sex. The idea that virginity is ‘lost’ is very telling as it implies you are LESS of a person because something is GONE. It’s engrained, normal, socially acceptable language…but when you actually think about the connatation it is much more than just a phrase.

Post # 30
9553 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

I’m going to teach my kids that sex is natural and fun, but should be practiced responsibly and only with both parties are comfortable/ready. The notion that sex is only for when you’re in love is toxic, IMO, because it creates a culture of women that are ashamed to have casual sex and a culture of men that lie to women “come on, I love you, if you love me you’ll do it too” to get them to cave and have sex when they aren’t ready. I want my children to grow up with a sex positive attitude, but to also be safe and smart about it. You don’t have to be in love to have or enjoy sex.

The whole church/purity issue is totally separate, and I won’t go into it on this thread. I think religious figures have absolutely no business knowing about the sex lives of teenagers.

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