(Closed) Purple Hair at Brother's Wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
6882 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

It is your hair to do what you want. If it was me, personally I would hold off until the wedding just to be on the nice side since you are not the bride  

Post # 3
Member
10377 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I’ll have two bridesmaids with rainbow hair and one with black hair and fire engine red tips. So, me personally, no I don’t care what my girls hair looks like. One bridesmaid wanted to do hers emerald green to match our colors. I said cool, do it! However, I am not your typical bride. I have no fear of being upstaged and it’s more important to me that my girls are the women I love and not just props for my day.

However, if your Future Sister-In-Law says specifically she doesnt want you to have funky colored hair then you have to respect that. It’s her wedding and its an important day for her in which she doesn’t want anything distracting people from the main focus which should be her and your brother.

 

Post # 4
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

My hair was blue on the bottom when I was my sister’s maid of honor. And no one cared, but my family has all really been very accepting about it. They couldn’t care less about that stuff because I’ve been just about every color under the sun.

So usually, I’m all for it. 

But if it really bothered my sister I would have waited until after her wedding to change up my hair. Especially if you’ve already gone back to brown, and your fsil doesn’t like it. The day is about them, not you.

Part of my really wants to be all like “they knew you when your hair was a crazy color, so what does it matter” but that’s just the selfish part of me speaking lol.

Post # 5
Member
731 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I don’t think it’s rude to have purple hair or anything, but I think you’re really asking whether it’s better to stand up for yourself or keep the peace.  In this case, it seems to me like keeping the peace isn’t such a bad option, considering the fact that you can dye your hair after the wedding.  But is it possible to dye it purple now and then brown for the wedding?  (I have never dyed my hair so I don’t know if that’s something you could do or not.)

Post # 6
Member
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Beach

I don’t care what my bridesmaids do to thier hair, it’s none of my business. My sister has purple hair right now and plans to have teal hair for my wedding. As long as she is okay with it then I’m okay with it.

Post # 7
Member
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I say it’s your hair do what you want, your family is being dramatic over just hair.

But I’m biased because I had purple hair at my sister’s wedding and I was a bridesmaid. My mom and sister were not happy about it but when it came down to the actual wedding we were all too happy for my sister to care about the color of anyone’s hair.

Post # 8
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
laurelwreath0502:  I would just ask your Brother and Future Sister-In-Law what they want and respect their decision.

Even if they are ok with it, it sounds like you are going to have to deal with drama from your Mom and only you know if that’s worth not waiting to dye till after the wedding. Plus, she will never forget b/c of the pictures.

Post # 9
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

My hair was blue on the bottom when I was my sister’s maid of honor. And no one cared, but my family has all really been very accepting about it. They couldn’t care less about that stuff because I’ve been just about every color under the sun.

So usually, I’m all for it. 

But if it really bothered my sister I would have waited until after her wedding to change up my hair. Especially if you’ve already gone back to brown, and your fsil doesn’t like it. The day is about them, not you. 

Part of my really wants to be all like “they knew you when your hair was a crazy color, so what does it matter” but that’s just the selfish part of me speaking lol.

As much as I loved my colorful hair, I probably would have covered it if she asked. If she doesn’t want to look back at her wedding photos and see my electric blue hair, I can’t really fault her for that. You know?

Post # 10
Member
2044 posts
Buzzing bee

If you put a temp “normal” color over purple there is no way it will wash off in a few days. Your hair will need to be bleached really light to be purple and purple doesn’t hold for long. If you put anything dark enough to cover the purple up over it it will stain the hair and stay. 

Post # 11
Member
2594 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

So I’m one to be like, “I yam what I yam and you will love me or lump it,” and say that you should just be you. 

Buuuuuttttt…since it’s your Future Sister-In-Law and since she has already sort of asked you to hold off, if you did it anyway, you would be sort of giving her a big “eff you,” and I would say that’s not the way you want to head off on a familial relationship if you can avoid it. Unless this is something deeply, deeply meaningful to you, I would just shrug and make an appointment for after the wedding. 

Post # 12
Member
1739 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Well…I’ll be the stickler and say that I’m on your mom’s / FSIL’s side.  My daughter likes dying her hair crazy colors too.  And in fact, it’s purple right now.   But I told her by my wedding, it better not be.  She’s annoyed with my decision, but I don’t want my wedding photos forever documenting this current fad which will surely be over in a year or two.  

Both my daughter and Maid/Matron of Honor have tattoos that I don’t love but I’ve decided not to worry about them, or ask them to cover them up, because I’m trying to pick my battles.  But purple (or blue or pink) hair is a battle I’m picking.  

Ultimately, if it’s your FSIL’s wedding, I think you should repect her wishes, just like you’d like people to respect your wishes for your wedding.  

Post # 13
Member
7881 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

The wedding pictures will be there for posterity. If the wedding is a serious event, I think I’d keep my hair the natural color for the wedding out of respect. That said, I’d dye your hair to your heart’s desire now and just dye it back right before the wedding. 

Post # 14
Member
9236 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Your hair, your choice. If purple hair makes you feel more like you and gives you a high self esteem then rock that purple hair. Do what is best for you in your day to day life and not what someone else wants for their one day party.

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