Post # 1
Hi everyone! First post here. We’ve only been engaged for a few weeks but we’ve already set a date and booked a venue for September this year. We’ve been together for six years, so we aren’t interested in waiting much longer!
I just wanted to see if any of you ladies are pursing a career in academia or another related field that will incorporate publications, independent field work, etc. I’m a history MA student pursing a PhD. There is a chance I’ll get published this year (finding out in a few weeks), and it got me thinking about my professional identity. I really like my last name (Lassley), but I am honestly not very connected to my paternal side of the family. I’ve seen them only a handful of times in my life (I’m 26), and my paternal grandfather was a homeless drunk who I never met! We weren’t even informed when he died. Basically, I’m not interested in “carrying on the name” since I have no brothers, etc. It’s more rebranding the Lassley name, giving it a fresh start, as well as keeping my identity, etc.
That said, my fiancé’s last name is Knight, which is kinda baller. I’ve always pictured going by “Jennifer Lassley Knight.” But, would both last names be considered one long name? I know there is an option to have two middle names, but I’m not really interested in that. I’ve considered the hyphen, “Lassley-Knight” as well.
What is easier? Anyone out there wish they would have hyphenated, etc.? My friend has mentioned it confuses people when she gives her new full married name (she did not hyphenate). I could also just go by my original first and last name for my career I suppose, and then use his name for legal purposes. Is it complicated to have two last names when it comes to every day stuff like giving your name over the phone, filling out random paperwork, etc.? Any advice would be appreciated ladies! Thanks a lot 🙂
Edit: I know posting this under Secular is weird, but I didn’t know where else to post it, ha. That said, my fiancé and I are non-traditional, non-religious, etc.
This topic was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by jen.lass.
Post # 2
jen.lass: It is a bit hard re the academic thing and names – but if you aren’t published yet then not so difficult , unless you choose the ‘using one name for this and another name for that’ option. Don’t do that, it will be a pain in the arse.
I kept my own name so it was not a problem, but if you want his then do it. I don’t mind hyphenated names at all, but I am English and it is more common in the UK. Would he take yours and hyphenate too? That would be nice . You don’t have to hyphenate though, you just sign and publish as Jennifer Lassley Knight .
Post # 3
The “first, maiden, newlast” name change is the formal, traditional manner in which many women in the US have changed their names. One of my grandmothers and one of my DH’s grandmothers and my mother all did this, and I chose this as well.
I love this name change, because it provides a clear connection to your family of origin, while also allowing you to take your husband’s name. It allows you so much flexibility (being able to use the Mrs. honorific with your new last name, as well as to be known by all three of your names whenever you would like.)
I am not in acadamia; however, I have been published due to the nature of my work. I generally use all three of my names in writing and on all legal documents, credit cards, checks, etc. Sometimes I just use my first and (new) last names socially and when I introduce myself to clients (while handing them a business card with all three names on it.)
I highly recommend this type of name change, because it will be easier for people to realize that “Jennifer Lassley” and “Jennifer Knight” are the SAME person, if your new name is “Jennifer Lassley Knight.”
Post # 4
jen.lass: I work with folks in academia who are at the absolute top of their field. I’ve seen most women under 40 change their name and most do first maiden married on reports and first married at work (their email is [email protected] League.edu).
At my organization, most do the same First Maiden Married but go under First Maiden, don’t change their email address, and publish under their maiden name. Other than for HR or payroll purposes, they go my their maiden name. That’s what I plan to do (already married, waiting on peer review to hurry up).
I wouldn’t hyphenate and would always go by three names. The reason why we don’t is that it is a gigantic pain to change your email address and our email only allows First.Last. because I do so much work with contacts via email, having them recognize my name is vital.
I sign every thing with all three names and use all three on my credit cards. My mother-in-law does it the same way and it works well for her.
Post # 5
Thanks very much for all of the advice ladies! Took me a while to read this…Now that my semester is over I can finally get back to thinking about the big day 🙂
An update: I’ve officially published as Jennifer Lassley (woo!) …so I’m taking that as a sign that I will go by my first and maiden name in academic stuff, and first maiden newlast with everything else. I agree it would be a pain to change email/contact info, etc. Since I’m going to have two last names (rather than making my maiden my middle), hopefully people will see it as a shortened version of my name and get over it. 🙂