(Closed) "Push Presents" Who got them && what did you get?

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 61
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1836 posts
Buzzing bee

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stardustintheeyes:  Congrats on your baby! 🙂 Sorry you had a complicated pregnancy, that is tough. Your husband sounds like he was a rock and was very supportive, that is awesome! And I strongly agree with you on the gift issue.

Post # 63
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979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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sostobe:  cute! It’s nice him and baby will have that to match though, I think it’s really sweet!

I got DH a Cav’s jersey for Fathers Day… I felt like, it’s something I can get ou anytime that’s not really dad-related but I still wanted it to be about him, and they were in the finals! I always think it’s the thought that counts with gifts, and what they mean! 

I wanted to put together a ‘New dad survival kit’ for him for the hospital. But I don’t know what to put into it, aside from snacks and a nice hand written letter! I also have been hounding him to pick a diaper bag, or at least narrow down a style he likes, so I can order one, fill it with stuff and pack it in the car! We do have an iPad (that we never use!) and he has his phone. But we don’t play games or anything, so I can’t think of any apps that I could download to keep him busy during downtime either! He’s huge into Basketvall, but I have a feeling the hospital wouldn’t be pleased if I set him up one of those toy hoops with the little nerf ball, although I’m sure he’d love that! 

Post # 64
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1836 posts
Buzzing bee

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sostobe:  I am wondering too. Before is a little strange. What happens if there is not a happy ending to the birth scenario? Is the gift returned, or does the woman get to keep her token…….

Post # 66
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979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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stardustintheeyes:  I don’t really think it’s up to anyone to decide what makes a gift acceptable or not. Some people don’t wear jewellery. Some peopke will keep their designer bag for the rest of their life. It’s not really our place to judge what makes an appropriate gift for a specific individualGifts are given. I never ask for anything, but if I receive a gift I’m more than appreciatI’ve regardless of what was given because it meant something to someone to gift me said item. 

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MrsWBS:  I agree with you. I feel like it’s ok for someone to get food or something small, but if it’s veiwed as an extravagant gift the price tag somehow makes it something else, and makes it demanded or entitled. I took some heat on this thread. DH and I aren’t gifts people. For the first 5 years of our relationship we gave no gifts to each other, and my preference is to write letters (which we keep in a box) for special occasions. So colour me shocked he went in the direction he did. But obviously to him it was important to make a grand gesture, and I don’t think people should be faulted or judged or labelled for how they decide to show their love or appreciation. I don’t think it’s about what the gift is, as much as what it means.

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solnishko1186:  I guess I don’t see how a father giving the mother a gift undermines the love for the baby? I would give away all of my material things in this life if it ensured my child was happy and healthy, also if it ensured my husband would be happy and healthy. I would give my life for either of those two and just because I got a ‘push present’ (I’m only calling it that, because it seems to be the term given) doesn’t change a thing. I don’t want to be negative in regards to my child, but if something happened to him, all of the gifts, money or anything isn’t going to change that. I can guarantee when my son makes his entrance into the world he’ll be the only thing I care about then. I won’t be thinking about gifts or material things. 

But, that doesn’t mean I’m going to make my husband feel bad because he did something so unexpected and thoughtful for me. He knows me, and knows it’s not asked for or expected. But I can’t judge him negatively. I wouldn’t , but if I did people would call me ungrateful. So I can be tacky or ungrateful, I guess I’ll take tacky.

I always intended to do something special for him whether he got me a gift or not. I have been gathering ideas for at the hospital. Through out this pregnancy I’ve given him small tokens and little notes to thank him for being so amazing to me, not just amazing during pregnancy, but as a reminder of how much I appreciate him being in my life. We’re equal partners in life and love and I know I won’t have to worry about him belong with all of the late night diaper changes etc. He’s already claimed bath time as his responsibility for baby. I honestly, didn’t need a thing else from him. 

If a partner wants to give a gift to their partner for becoming a parent, I see no harm. I know a lot of people who have done this, and apparently it’s common where DH works (which is where the original idea came from). O agree that The term ‘push present’ is a bit distasteful, but that’s the term it’s known by. I don’t think it’s reserved only for women who literally ‘push’ and honestly don’t know the origin of where push presents come from. DH calls the car my ‘baby gift’. I never thought I would find myself on this side of the coin, receiving an extravagent gift for something that required no gift, or no thank you at all. I thought I’d be weirded out too, but my car came with a sweet card and the card was the best part to be honest. He could take back the car tomorrow, but the card he’ll have to pry out of my dead hands lol But that’s what put the gift itself into perspective for me. Obviously the baby is such a huge gift for him he thought this was the only way to say thank you, which again he didn’t need to do.

But, maybe that’s why I see there’s more to it than entitlement, expectations and tackiness. It’s up to the partner (mom or dad) to decide what and when they want to gift their loved one.

But, I wouldn’t judge women either way who want or don’t want to receive gifts for this reason. I’m not going to look down on anyone for looking down On me. I know where my gift came from and what it means, and really I think that’s the most important part of it. 

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