- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
Ok… this is going to be hard to explain… but i’ll try, i’m just venting a guess and maybe looking for some suggestions.
ok the other night me and my partner were watching TV… i glance over at him and notice that he wasn’t actually watching the TV but had his thinking about something face and looking at the floor… i asked if he was ok and he just shook his head, i then moved closer to comfort him and asked what was wrong, he then responded with “I dont know”… no i know my partner very well and when he goes really quiet and has this certain look on his face i know something is really bothering him BUT i also know that me asking him “whats wrong whats wrong whats wrong whats wrong” annoys him LOL so i leaned into him and said “babe… you know you should be able to tell me anything and everything, thats what i’m here for, if you dont tell me your problems I can’t help you work through whatever it is thats bothering you and i want to be able to help you”
ok… so basically after comforting him heaps (this is not normal as he’s not a sooky kind of person at all… LOL i’m the sooky one haha haha)… he thens tells me that he thinks i would be better if i broke up with him… WOAH WHAT?!?! i asked why and he said that he feels he can’t give me what i deserve and that we both have different goals and wants in life. i told him that what i want in life is to be with him.
I went to ask him if he was scared about the wedding… he kindda shrugged and said no… i dont know… i told that its normal to get cold feet but if he really does feel that it’s too much right now that we can push the wedding date… it wouldn’t bother me at all. by this time i was a little teary because i dont want him to feel like he HAS to get married on this date to make me happy… i would wait 100yrs to marry him when he’s ready. he said he didn’t want to push the date… but now i have this horrible feeling inside that is making me think “am i pushing him to get married on this date… does he really want to or is he just doing it for me?” then i have to remind myself that if he didn’t want to marry me or be with me he wouldn’t have proposed 2yrs ago.
How do stop feeling this way? like i really want him to feel comfortable getting married… i mean i’m excited but now i feel like “am i the only one excited about this?”
i want him to be happy… he said he is… he said it was the thought of the money that worries him the most. *sigh* i dont care about money….