(Closed) Pushy Groomsman! Need Advice Please!

posted 9 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would tell him no because being there for a wedding is a big deal when you’re a groomsman and you can’t trust him because of past behavior. He’ll be invited but its not worth having a no-show in the bridal party just to keep him from being “hurt” (which I doubt he’d really be that hurt… he just might put up a fuss over pride). He sounds a teensy big proud and arrogant…

Post # 4
1412 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

Interesting. Where did the other two groomsmen come from to make it be 5?

Post # 5
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t think you should get involved in it. I understand why you’re annoyed but it’s his relationship to manage, not yours. I dont think you’d want him dictating how to handle issues with your friends, right?

Post # 6
2779 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I say if your Fiance wants to give in let him, just prepare yourselves to not have any expectations of this guy helping or even showing up. I think if you hold your expectations low from the beginning, you won’t have to worry about getting upset when they come to fruitation, especially when we’re talking about a proven flaky groomsman.

Post # 7
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would just say no. If he hasn’t made an effort to be in your guy’s life as a friend and ditch L’s wedding, I would nip that problem to avoid any future stress or “back of your head” thoughts that he’s going to be a no-show. Or other wise talk to him and let him know how you feel and make sure he will be commited. Maybe this will give you guys a chance to get close to him again. 

Post # 8
504 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Eh, gotta let your man sort this one out. If you wouldn’t let him push one of your b.m’s out can’t do the same. TRUST. We have two groomsmen…one similiar to your sitch and a groomswoman who is just a bitc* that I’ve just decided in the end to accept because it’s more important to be united than pick fights over family/friends…


Now if your dude super doesn’t want this guy/the guy doesn’t approve of your matrimony…that is a whole nother situation

Post # 10
7637 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree this is for Fiance to deal with, but why is “no” so hard to say?

Post # 11
7547 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I can understand your apprehension but this is really your FI’s choice. 

Post # 12
6258 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I would definitely encourage your Fiance to stand up for himself and say NO. This guy should not be in your wedding party if your Fiance doesn’t feel close to him. Your Fiance will be happier when the wedding rolls around and he doesn’t have to deal with him.

Post # 13
1485 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@msuwxnerd:  I would say no just because he assumed after not talking for a year. And flaking on a mutual friend’s wedding. That’s insane.

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