- 3 years ago
- Wedding: July 2016
Bees, I need your opinions.
I asked my best friend to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, my two sisters, and my Future Sister-In-Law to be bridesmaids for our wedding. I thought I was doing the right thing, by asking my sisters and Future Sister-In-Law, after this whole year I would recommend to anyone to pick who you want to stand up with you, just because they are your sister or Future Sister-In-Law, you have a say in who you know will support you.
The issue has come down to the Future Sister-In-Law. At the very beginning of asking, my Maid/Matron of Honor and I were looking for dresses for the bridesmaids. We wanted to keep budget in mind as I would not want to put a huge pricetag for anyone. Maid/Matron of Honor found a cute navy blue dress for only $50 (bonus it was something that can be worn again and altered if necessary). Everyone agreed they liked it and it was decided on that they would be paying for their own dresses.
First issue, Future Sister-In-Law has still never paid for her dress, Maid/Matron of Honor ended up ordering all the dresses, has been paid back by my sisters, bu tnot Future Sister-In-Law. Even with many attempts by my Maid/Matron of Honor and sisters (who all paid) to mention it nicely to her, Maid/Matron of Honor finally sent an e-mail saying she needed to reimburse her.
Future Sister-In-Law response, my mother thinks it rude to have bridesmaids pay for their dresses I will not be paying for mine. I paid my Maid/Matron of Honor because she was nice enough to get them for everyone and it should not be her burden.
Second Issue, the bridal shower, Future Sister-In-Law contributed nothing to the cost of it. She says she was not the host and should not have to contribute.
Third Issue, early on at the same time we talked about the dresses, I said shoes are up to you all that I ask is that you can walk in them on grass (ceremony is outside) color is up to you.
Hair, I have someone coming to do my hair the day of I am not requiring you to get your hair done, but if you would like the girl will be there and let me know the cost to have your hair done. Hair is optional, if you want it done you have to let me know so I can tell her and bring a picture of the hair style that you would like done, cost is on you if you are getting it done would be $80-100 depending on the style.
Makeup – I offered to pay for this for the girls as a gift, I thought it would be fun for them.
Everyone agreed to these, so the costs on them are the dress, the shoes, and hair if they want to get it done.
Future Sister-In-Law e-mails me this week saying that she does not agree that she should have to pay for her own hair, it is rude to make a bridesmaid pay for her own hair. I responded with Future Sister-In-Law, the hair is optional, if you want to do your own you are more than welcome to, I was only letting you know that I had a person coming and if you would like yours to be done, it is on you.
NOW Future Mother-In-Law is e-mailing me about how rude I am and how I am treating the bridesmaids like crap and expecting them to pay for everything when it should be on me… on and on.
I know there is a divide on who should pay for what, my question is how do I proceed with FSIL? What would you recommend.
I can’t tell is this is all coming from Future Mother-In-Law or both, but I think I have been fair with everything letting them know things ahead of time, Maid/Matron of Honor found a dress that was very reasonable. Typically in our area it is expected that bridemaids pay for everything, I and my friends and sisters have all done this.