- Mr. Coffee
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
You may not know this, but Miss Coffee is the first girl I’ve ever lived with. That being said, upon moving in with each other I was quickly introduced to what I like to call the “Princess Rules”. It’s my belief that the Princess Rules have been handed down from mother to daughter for many decades now. Of course through the years these rules have been adjusted and even new rules added. That’s why I’ve also realized… PRINCESS RULES ARE NEVER ENDING! Listed below are few of my personal favorites:
One shall not sleep on decorative pillows
These pillows are only to be gazed upon with wonder and glee. Decorative pillows must be taken off the bed prior to sleep. If ones head ever touches a decorative pillow, then said pillow becomes a regular pillow… resulting in the purchase of a new decorative pillow.
It’s never truly “your closet”
Every closet in the house belongs to her. Of course she will approve said spaces that your clothes can reside; however, she has the right to change or minimize said space at any time. By occupying space in “her” closet you have also given consent to activate the “apparel transformer”.
The Apparel Transformer – “She loves you, not the red polo with the blue stripes”
She reserves the right to re-invent your style by providing new clothing articles and throwing away old ones. Said steps may be shocking at first; however, fighting her on this change will inevitably cause a rip in the fabric of time and space… and may get sucked into another dimension!
Your actual closet is in the basement/storage unit
Activating the apparel transformer means many of your clothing items will end up in what I like to refer to as “the land forgotten”. In your tiny storage unit resides many favorite jackets, sweaters, and dress shirts that while in the dating stage she never expressed any objection to… has now expressed her complete disgust for. It’s in your new downstairs closet you’ll be able to spend time with other key items from your past… like say Comic books, and that awesome bust statue of superman! Even the slightest suggest of placing such statue in the apartment would result in an evil laugh… mu ha ha ha!
The toilet seat should always be down.
This is a classic oldie and no doubt your father pre-warned you about it. This is a three strike and you’re out rule. Failing to follow this rule to the letter will cause the following side effects; screaming, lectures, the silent treatment, and in some cases bleeding from the ears.
Not all laundry detergents are the same
Purex is not Tide; Arm & Hammer is not Tide. If she wants Tide with Febreze freshness, it’s unacceptable for you to come home with Tide with a touch of Downy!
There are plenty more; however, I would hate to give you the impression that living with Miss Coffee has not been just short of perfection! We are having the time of our life and can’t wait to take the next chapter in our lives… marriage.
This is simply to make you ladies laugh and maybe add a few of your own Princess Rules that apply to your guy!
As always; the number one rule I live by… “A happy Miss Coffee is a happy Mr Coffee”