(Closed) Putting a dress code recommendation on the invitation?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If the restaurant has a dress code, you can put that on. But you cannot put “vintage cocktail”.  For example, you could put something like “XYZ restaurant requries jackets for men and forbids jeans and runners” – basically just copy whatever the restaurant website says. This isn’t YOU requiring a dress code (inappropriate), this is you passing along the restaurants dress code so they are allowed in. 

Post # 3
Member
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

 

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DaniGirl03 :  

I’m going to be the odd one out here but I don’t think it’s inappropriate to have a dress code or rude to put it on the invite. I actually prefer it when it’s there and easy to find. My invites had a small note at the bottom in italics “Cocktail attire preferred”

 

Post # 4
Member
7601 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

It is not rude to do it exactly as 

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jellybellynelly :  has described, but I would just caution you that selecting a venue with a strict dress code may be a bit of an overreach for a group who are used to a more casual reception and are paying to travel for a destination wedding.  Make sure you are not setting anyone up for a negative experience before you commit to this venue.

Post # 5
Member
6496 posts
Bee Keeper

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DaniGirl03 :  as PP said in this case, as the venue has a dress code, you do need to include it, but it should only state what the venue requires. So unless they require ‘vintage cocktail’ attire (I doubt it) that would be inappropriate.

Post # 9
Member
6496 posts
Bee Keeper

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DaniGirl03 :  I would honestly just cut and paste, because cocktail attire may mean different things to different people and you still risk people being turned away if you’re not specific enough. So if the venue stipulates no denim/sneakers/men must be in jackets (etc) I would say it exactly as it is. Then there is no room for misinterpretation and if people ignore it and are refused entry it’s on them, not you.

Post # 11
Member
603 posts
Busy bee

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DaniGirl03 :  Why don’t you do a simple photocopied insert for the invitation?  I did one with directions on how to rsvp at our wedding website, hotel block information, and bus transportation that we are providing.  So that the information goes out with the invite, but is not on the invite.  This way you can be explicit to what the restaurant requires without leaving anything confusing, without taking up a lot of space on the invite.

Post # 12
Member
6496 posts
Bee Keeper

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ctbxbee :  +1. An insert might be a good idea. Otherwise, because this is a requirement, I do think it needs to go on the invitation itself, as again, people may not check the website or may not hear about it through word of mouth an hen you as hosts will be responsible if guests are refused entry.

This is not a dress code preference, this is a venue requirement, and so guests need to be properly informed about it so they can dress accordingly.

Post # 14
Member
6496 posts
Bee Keeper

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DaniGirl03 :  dress code PREFERENCES are a no-go, dress code REQUIREMENTS are not. It is perfectly fine to stipulate black tie or white tie if the event is black/white tie, or to cite a venue’s requirements (eg one we looked at had a strict ban on denim, sportswear, and men had to wear suit jackets, long sleeved shirts, and ties). That is not an etiquette faux pas.

What is an etiquette faux pas is to give a preference eg ‘cocktai attire’.

So saying you want guests to wear vintage cocktail attire is wrong, citing the venue’s dress code is right.

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