Post # 1
Sorry if this has already been a post somewhere, but thought there might be some ladies out there who could help me.
My fiance and I have been trying to get pregnant now for 12 months, and are just starting infertility investigations. However, over the past 6-9 months there has been at least one friend/family/workmate every 3-4 weeks who has announced she is pregnant.
I am happy for all these women, especially the ones i am close to, but theres a little bit of me that is sad for me every time it happens, and the sad bit gets a little bit bigger every time it happens. Not sure how much longer my ‘how wonderful’ face will stay.
Not a lot of people know we’re TTC, but most of the ones who do keep telling me to relax and not get stressed, NOT as easy as it sounds!
I was just wondering if anyone else feels the same, and how other ladies cope with the feeling happy and sad?
Post # 3
@macmint83: I am so sorry about your fertility struggles… There are LOTS of us ladies who are upset by friend/family/corworkers announcing their pregnancy, especially when we know that they have been trying for less than we have. If I were you, I would join the 1 year+ thread. Those ladies are the most amazing, inspirational ladies on the planet!!!! They can offer you lots of support. <3333 Welcome to the Bee!!!!
Post # 4
@macmint83: As ChuckNorris said, you’re not alone. And, personally, I think that “just relax!” is THE absolutely most frustrating thing for people to say to someone TTC. I also think it’s totally natural to feel a little bit sad when other people get pregnant. I try to just remind myself that their getting pregnant has no bearing on my own ability to get pregnant…but it can still be sad!
Post # 5
@macmint83: I hear ya, lady! We’ve been TTC for a 1 1/2 years now so I know exactly where you’re coming from. It’s not an easy road and I can’t believe how much long-time TTC has affected me. It’s shaken me to my very core. I used to be eternally optimistic and pretty much had a smile on my face 24/7. These days….not so much. I’m struggling with borderline depression (self diagnosed) and being sad and crying is a very normal part of my week.
I’ve had no less than 5 coworkers get pregnant since we started trying. Some of them already have babies that are 9 months old–the same with a lot of friends and even family. 🙁 That’s the hardest part. I know there’s not a limited baby supply, but it makes it hard to see others have what you’re aching for deep down inside.
Attitude has a lot to do with it, though, and I’m really, really, really trying to be a happier person. What I’m doing currently is trying to count my blessings and be grateful for all the awesome things I do have right now: the bestest husband ever–a man who has been there to hug me, cry with me, and hold my hand on this bumpy ride, a man who wants to be a Daddy with all his heart; good family that loves us; a great house; a crazy good job; regular cycles (my heart goes out to those with wonky cycles); and the most awesome WB ladies on the 1 Year + thread.
Those who are telling you to “relax” have undoubtedly never experienced infertility or they wouldn’t dare let those words escape their mouth. I have a great friend who also went through infertility and ended up adopting. She’s been my lifeline. Never ONCE has she said anything that I don’t want to hear. She just “gets” it, like no one else in my life can. If you can find someone like that to talk to, it might really help to have an outlet.
And of course, come join us on the 1 Year + TTC thread! You can count on us for hugs, celebrating little successes, and being there when you need a shoulder to cry on. 🙂
Post # 6
@MrsFarmer: Wow, I hope if I ever struggle TTC I have half the grace you have.
Post # 7
@sailor: THANK YOU! You have no idea how much that means to me. I don’t feel graceful or patient most of the time, but I’ll just “fake it till I make it” (words of wisdom from my younger brother.) 😉
Post # 8
I am so sorry. I totally know how you feel. My thoughts are with you for a BFP soon!!!
Post # 9
Everyone is so lovely here, and the 1+ ttc thread is great. But I have just got my labs back, and have now got confirmed PCOS. Think at the moment we’re going to concentrate on our wedding, and see what happens. Try not to get myself so worked up, and let myself enjoy my friends happiness for now.
The support you recieve from all ladies on this board is amazing, and it is so nice to find people who totally get me!
Thank you all again! And best wishes to anyone else ttc. xx