(Closed) Putting together the guest list is driving me nuts.

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

If you don’t speak to them, it really doesn’t matter if they’ll be mad at you. I only invited one out of twelve cousins- hadn’t seen the others in five plus years, so what was the point?

It can get a little tricky if you invite two siblings from one family and not the other, for example. But when you need to stick to a number/budget, people just have to deal. 

Post # 4
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

The guest list is the hardest part (so far). We really felt stuck and invited more people than we wanted because of family!

Post # 5
Member
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@SouthernGirl:  I am in the same situation as you.  I have eleven aunts and uncles on my moms side alone and too many cousins to count.  There is already enough drama going on in the family as it is so I just went ahead and invited everyone even though I know most wont come.

Post # 6
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would not invite them, unless someone footing the bill for the wedding is requesting they be invited.

Here’s how I sorted out those sorts of questions with the guest list. I imagined myself at the reception, going around to the tables and greeting/thanking people. When I got to the table with that person, would I be genuinely happy they were there? Do I get a good feeling in my gut picturing that moment? If not, I left them off. It served me pretty well. You could also mentally picture getting their RSVP. Would you be like “Crap!” if they RSVP yes?

Post # 8
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@SouthernGirl:  I think keeping it small is your mom’s perfect response if they do start crap.

And honestly… if they start crap, it only reflects poorly on them.

Don’t invite people who treat you poorly to your wedding.

Post # 9
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Invite family you actually interract with. There is no reason to invite virtual strangers to an intimate affair. Make sure your parents know who you are and are not inviting and why so that they can field wuestions if asked. If it’s a small wedding, it’s a small wedding.

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