Post # 1
What qualities does your FI/husband have that made you realise he was someone you wanted to marry and what things don’t you like about him but were willing to put up with? I’m adjusting to life without my Fiance so want to make the right choice next time! Thanks
Post # 3
Probably the most noticeable quality of my husband is his gentleness; even people that have just met him have remarked to me how gentle he is. He’s very soft-spoken, caring and has this incredible ability to seem like he’s interested in anything anyone has to say. When I see him at work (caseworker in a youth refuge), I fall in love with him all over again!
Aside from the whole gentle, caring nature, he’s also very intelligent, a great cook, smart with money, great with kids, etc. I’ve also experienced a bit of trauma when I was younger and my husband has been very caring and supportive of my healing journey.
He’s not perfect, and there a lot of things about him that drive me nuts, but I love him and his good qualities by far outweigh his annoying ones!
Post # 4
He is the most caring and generous man I have ever met. He puts everyone else above himself, and cares so much about his family and mine. He works really hard and sticks with his job even though it is not what he would ideally like to do. He has been so supportive during my tough times, and is there for me despite my mental illness. He listens to me and is there for me no matter what. He is amazing.
The only thing I am not that keen on is how much he plays video games, he is on his Nintendo DS or Playstation a lot of the time that I am with him, but it is far far outweighed by the good qualities. And I sometimes play his Nintendo while he gives me a shoulder massage and tells me what to do 🙂 He plays a lot less than he used to, and now reads more. (He used to never read books when I first met him and played the Playstation pretty much all the time – then one Christmas a couple of years ago I gave him a Goosebumps book and now he reads heaps!) So the gaming I can deal with easily.
Post # 5
My Fiance has the biggest heart out of anyone I’ve ever met. He is just so loving and caring and thoughtful. It’s so cute bc his son is like a miniature version of him in that respect, just the sweetest most loving little boy. He is just a GOOD MAN through and through. I’ve found those very hard to come by! He is a good father, friend, son, and I know he’ll be a good husband. He has supported me through some very difficult times and situations, situations when other ppl would have straight up ran. He is quite literally my rock. On the flip side he is terrible with money, and his goodness can sometimes border on ‘goody two shoes – ness’. However, his good points FAR outweigh the bad.
Writing this just made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside (: I’m so blessed to be marrying this man!
Post # 6
The way he looks after me and always puts me before himself. Daddy (yes, I am a hopeless daddy’s girl) said that it’s amazing that he so willingly puts himself last and it’s great practice for when we have kids! hehe. I hate his obsession with video games and a few of his douchebag friends – but he is amazing and makes me feel like a princess! I love being spoilt and just to be made to feel special. My favourite things are how he ALWAYS says I love before bed and gives me a kiss – same as whenever we part. 🙂 I just feel so loved and secure and happy and girlish – even after 3.5 years and 2.5 living together!
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
His kindness is his most endearing quality. He is kind and respectful to everyone. And his manners…. I swoon. Seriously. He’s also very smart, humble, loyal (almost to a fault), very affectionate and attentive, emotionally available and mature, an amazing Dad, very funny, financially responsible, always puts Teen LK and I first in his decisions, and is an all around great person. I feel so lucky to be able to share my life with him. He is the man I never even dared to dream about. I never knew I could be so blessed.
If I had to pick his faults, I’d say that he’s quite jaded and cynical about politics and how the world works, and has been known to dwell too much on the negatives. I wish he weren’t quite so negative about those things because I don’t think that stressing over it is good for his health. He’s also loyal even in those situations where it hurts him. He is not good at putting himself first when he needs to in order to get out of a bad situation. So he is staying at a job that treats him like crap and make him miserable because he feels loyalty to his co-workers and doesn’t want to abandon the projects he has put so many years into. That’s all I have for his faults. And his long list of good qualities so far outweighs the potentially negative ones. Marrying him was a total no-brainer, and it gets better every single day that we are together.
Post # 8
Whoa, it’s a long list of positives. He is 100% dependable, that means a lot to me. He is calm and even keeled where I am extremely high strung. He loved my dogs from day one and really engaged with them, not just tolerated them. They are big, people oriented German Shepherds. Rather than gripe about all of the dog hair, as did other guys, he just kept an old jacket at my place. He’s a problem solver.
He is very much the gentleman. He’s incredibly frugal, yet generous with me at the same time. He’s very intelligent, I love how he just knows stuff, especially history and geography. We are in sync as far as our values and our politics go.
Dh, after nearly 10 years is as affectionate and complimentary toward me as he ever was. He is very attentive. I never feel taken for granted or neglected. He always puts me first.
The downsides. He can get cranky when he’s stressed. He should be much further along in a better career. He was laid off a few years ago from a large corporation as were so many. He just assumed he would land another similar job right away, but that didn’t happen. So now he’s in job that is beneath his intelligence and skills. I get that many, many people are in that same situation right now, but Dh has always been under- employed.
He is an extremely hard worker, never idle, even around the house, just not a dynamo of a go getter. Maybe for a high maintenance woman like me, that’s a good thing. He’s available to help me with my career.
I would be a disaster as a corporate wife, having to host dinner parties and all that. I’d hate it. So maybe things are as they were meant to be.
My therapist certainly never hesitates to remind me thst I hit the jackpot when I found Dh and that’s a pretty powerful endorsement.
Post # 9
He always puts my needs before his own. He’s very attentive to me, and always thinks about my feelings. He’s always respectfull of me, even when I’m not around. He’s the most honorable person I know. He makes me proud to stand beside him. We can be ourselves around each other, and we “get” each other.
Ive also read that you shouldn’t be with someone unless you’d be proud to have a son exactly like him. I like this advice. We do have a son together, and he is exactly like my Fiance and I couldn’t be prouder.
Post # 10
He is good to my family! Sometimes he goes so far out of his way for them it’s astounding. I have an extremely small immediate family – mom, sister, uncle, father – who live all over the state and he asked every single one of them for permission before he asked me to marry him. That seemed to really impress my mother (since she pretty much raised us by herself!)
Of course, he is good to his own family as well, which I think is just as important (especially his mom).
He’s good to friends as well, giving a helping hand whenever and however he is able.
But! The good thing is he knows his limits and doesn’t let anyone take advantage of his kindness – that was a huge plus for me once I figured that out (it means I never have to worry!)
He compliments me every single day. I’ve never heard him say a bad word about me.
He has an excellent sense of humor, he keeps me laughing all the time (even though sometimes it’s overly cheesy)
We are both very hands-on, and he and I have learned how to work very well together. If I don’t know how to do something, he’ll show me. If he doesn’t, I show him and if both of us don’t we try to figure it out together. If we really can’t then there’s always google. 🙂
He enjoys learning new things for and with me, which is so important to me.
He also looks good in a bow tie, which is not that important but really just an added bonus.
Post # 11
Thanks for your responses. My ex Fiance had most of the qualities you listed but something never felt completely right, which I find so frustrating. I always felt I don’t want to live my life without him but something also made me feel nervous about marrying him. So frustrating!
Post # 12
Seriously so many things. My Fiance probably has the biggest heart of anyone I know. He is so kind and caring. He is the guy that will do anything for anyone. He jumped out of the car last week to help an old woman cross through the parking lot – she was just standing there looking timid everytime a car went by. He is so sweet and ALWAYS puts me first. He defends me to the end and does so many little things to show that he loves me.
He has great manners and is super respectful of me. When we fight he never takes low blows or results to name calling or yelling. He is affectionate and funny. Even after being together for 12 years and living together for 7 he still says, “I love you” every morning before he goes to work, even if I’m half asleep in bed. He tells me I’m beautiful everyday even if I look like a freakin’ disaster and he always makes me feel pretty.
Negatives? He does get easily distracted so he often asks me to repeat things, which can be annoying after spouting off a long story. He has road rage, lol. He worries A LOT. It takes a lot for me to get upset or worried about something, but he tends to worry himself too much about little things.
Post # 13
Fiance is the sweetest guy ever but as soon as someone hurts someone he loves he goes into super protective mode and I love that he is willing to stand up for the people he loves. He is also a very sarcastic guy and that really fits well with me because I am too 🙂 One thing that really irks me about Fiance is that he tends to shut when he is mad, I am starting to learn how to deal with itbut he is also working on it. So I guess that is another thing that showed me that I wanted to marry him, he is able to admit his flaws and work on him. But one thing that he will never fix and I know I will have to live with is that the man does not know how to use a hamper, his dirty clothes are everywhere except the damn hamper lol
Post # 14
I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Fiance when I met his family. They were so welcoming and it was so obvious he had been raised by such a wonderful family that I knew I wanted to raise children with him. I read somewhere that you should never marry a man if you wouldn’t be proud to have a son exactly like him, and Fiance is so kind, generous, hard-working and honest that I would be lucky to have a son who is half the man he is. He always does the right thing, even when it’s not the easy thing, and he is fiercely loyal. He brings out the best in me, and I in him. Aaaaand BONUS! He’s a total smokeshow. Eyes like a swimming pool and carpenter’s muscles made of indestructible things 🙂
If I had to pinpoint one aspect of his personality that isn’t my fave, he tends to keep things that bother him to himself, until it’s too much and then he explodes (though he’s gentle as a lamb, so his “explosion” is really just raising his voice slightly lol). But, we’re constantly working on our communication and we’re both a lot better. He also has some country boy bad habits left, like drinking a wee bit too much when he’s with his other redneck friends. But, like we all do, he’s growing out of it.
Post # 15
The qualities I love about my Fiance is his strong mind. He has a big heart and he will do anything to make me happy. He is patient and understanding which is a blessing because I can be a handful. He is also very generous to everyone and understands what his role is as man of the house and has a strong committment to marriage.
Post # 16
Fiance loves me more than anything. He will do anything for me, and I believe he will be the same about our kids. He loves my dog like his freakin’ daughter – she can do no wrong in his eyes, it’s ridiculous 🙂 He works so hard. He worked full time while going to school and now works 60 hour weeks because he wants to make money not just for now, but for our future. He has become very future oriented and understands the importance of saving, which is very important to me. Plus, he always opens my car door (and other doors) for me 🙂
Whenever I think about my future, he’s in it. He’s the one I want to raise kids with, and the one I want to grow old with. That’s how I knew he was the one I wanted to marry.
I can list a whole helluvalot of flaws (haha!) but at the end of the day I accept him for them, same as he accepts me for my flaws. Our weirdness fits together I guess?
The things that have made me question marrying him in the past:
He cuts people off if they really do him wrong. He doesn’t speak to his sister at all (for valid reasons) but it makes me scared that he might someday cut off our kid or something.
He gets really frustrated about my sleeping habits, which aren’t going to change – I need a lot of sleep. I think its part of my depression, but its something he has to accept.
He gets frustrated because we don’t spend enough time together. But as I said, he works all the time, and I sleep a lot. But at the end of the day, if the reason we fight is because he loves me too much, I can’t complain too much!
ETA: (Ok, confession, I’ve edited this like six times to add things about him) but I appreciate this post because it really made me think. Sometimes when we fight over stupid stuff I get scared about being with him forever, but the overall picture makes me realize that it’s worth it 🙂