- 10 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Hi there Catholic Bees!
(By the way, just gotta say again how much I love these boards in comparison to knot boards. you all rock!)
I’m sorry this post is sort of long. I want you to have all the info!
I have a question to ask all of you. Have any of you had a convalidation after eloping (purely legal eloping)?
My fiance is Catholic. I’m non-denominational, but I have faith, and I’ve told him one day I believe I may fully join the church, but that I want to keep learning for now and wait until I feel the natural call. I don’t think that “just to make getting married easier” is a good reason to make that serious life decision.
However, we go to church regularly and I enjoy it and don’t want to lose any beauty that our marriage in front of God will hold.
But a few nights ago, my fiance and I were talking about a scene in Vicki Cristina Barcelona where the couple marries first in Barca romantically and then comes home to have a huge wedding, and he very seriously looked at me and said, I’ve been thinking about this, and I’d like to do something like that.
I was kind of shocked and thought he was joking, but he explained that because I don’t have health insurance and we definitely can’t afford to just buy it (I’m a student), every time I get into a car or go skiing with him or even walk to classes, he gets a jolt of fear like “what if…”. On top of that, around the time that I lost my health insurance through my Dad, I had been dealing with stage 0 cervical cancer. Only stage 0, which is not THAT scary, except that after two separate treatments it didn’t go away like it should have, and my doctors told me I really needed to stay on top of it. If I don’t, and it gets worse, I could risk not being able to have kids, or a more serious cancer.
So it was a long conversation, and he was almost tearful saying that he just wants me to be able to be taken care of. He’s a teacher and I could join his insurance without any added cost.
We also both feel that although TECHNICALLY speaking, yes, that’s a marriage, we won’t feel truly married until we say our vows in church in front of God and our loved ones, so we’re not going to move forward on any plans we have for our marriage until after our church vows.
So I want to be able to do this for him, but I don’t want to lose out on our “wedding.” I’m just wondering, did any of you get legally married for one reason or another a year or so before your church wedding? Was it a convalidation, and did your priest allow for a full “wedding” style ceremony with dress, bm’s, music, etc?