(Closed) Question about deal with flower drama

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 3
145 posts
Blushing bee

I actually am going through something of that sort. One of my closest friend in the world has offered to do my flowers for me, she is a florist and does weddings often. However, now that my time has come closer, because she wanted me to order the flowers instead of picking them up (and me reimburse her), I am starting to get lots of “suggestions” from her… such as “these roses” are better, “you need to get it from here”, “these will work better”. Well, that’s why I wanted her to pick them up! But if she wants me to order them, then she wants to be picky abt it, then it doesn’t make sense. She is an absolute perfectionist, so if everything did not turn out as she ordered, then I am screwed. *sigh*

Since your Future Mother-In-Law may offer to do that for you, I suggest that you head that off by telling her “you are so good at doing this, that’s why I had to ask your opinion and need your help in coming up with questions to ask the florist when we hire one, I was thinking of asking you to do it, but I wouldn’t dream of making you work or putting more stress on you on the most important day of your son/my husband to be’s life”. (I tried that with my closest friend since she is also Bridesmaid or Best Man, but she wouldn’t hear of someone else doing it for my wedding. Your situation is different because FMIL will have more duty/responsibility and be less available)

Post # 4
7774 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I agree with loveapril. I would tell her something along the lines of “I would hate to put any more stree on you on the wedding day. I want you to be able to sit back and enjoy but I would really love your opinions since you know more about it than I do.”

That way she would feel included but you wouldn’t have her doing the flowers.

Post # 6
47 posts
  • Wedding: August 2010

What I have said to my mother (who wants to do the flowers AND make my wedding dress), is “Mom, I’m sure you would do an amazing job, but if I have an irrational lack-of-sleep-freakout about anything wedding related, I would rather be stressed at a stranger than someone I know and love.”

So far, that has worked.

Post # 7
552 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I agree… ask if she wants to check out florists with you, or help you put together a list of questions to ask when you visit the florist you have in mind. That way, she will still be involved and have a little bit of control.  Flowers are such a day of stress factor… there is not really prep you can do before hand (more than a day really) unless you use silk.  She should understand that… she is going to have enough to deal with getting everything else ready (including herself!)


Good Luck!

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