Post # 1
I’ve noticed that there are quite a few bees on here who are in their twenties, early twenties even, who seem to be married, own houses, have children and have careers. I am blown away by this and quite frankly, impressed. How is this possible? I am in my early thirties and am only now getting my life together. When I was in my early twenties there was no way I could have afforded a house. I had money from my parents but they never would have given me money for a house at that point. And by the time I graduated college I could never had got a decent job with just a bachelor’s degree. I don’t want to come across as judging, I’m just baffled by how people have done it. And then adding a baby in?! I wish I had the maturity of some younger people when I was just barely out of my teens. So, yeah, any insights, thoughts, stories?
Post # 3
@Quitos Girl: I think a lot of it depends on where you live. For instance, I have friends from my back-woods town who got married at 19, had babies at 20, and bought their home somewhere in between. None of them went to college, and my one month of rent is double what their mortgage is. (Not saying that all, or even any bees who have houses/babies live in back-woods towns and don’t go to college)
I think that if you are in an area where home prices are higher, and you need to pay for school to get a job in pne of those areas, that it is much harder to do in early twenties.
I think it also depends on luck- I graduated with my Bachelor’s and lucked right into a really good job, and I make more than my FI who recently completed his Masters. I have other friends who have been underemployed and are finding it much harder to move their lives forward at this point in time.
Post # 4
@Quitos Girl: I think it depends on where you live. In the Midwest and parts of the South (of America) people settle down younger and the cost of living and real estate is cheaper. Some people are more concerned with having a stable income and raising a family than any notions of ‘finding themselves’ or travelling or whatever so they get jobs that will support a family and save up.
My grandma lives in a little town in Louisiana where most people are married by the age of 23 and parents by 25. Most people there are practicing Chritsians too, and I think that affects things too.
ETA: I also have some family that farms in various Midwestern states and they all settle down pretty young too. Again, I think rural, Christian communities place mre emphasis on settling down. They also mostly live in farming communities and I think most of them met the person they were going to marry pretty young because there aren’t many people. People tend not to leave the communities because farming is the family business.
Post # 5
For me, it was two things:
1- I decided at 16 to go to college. I worked two jobs for a while to cover tuition and other expenses like car insurance and other bills. I firmly believe that it really helped me to learn how to be financially responsible.
2- I married an older man. We are seven years apart and I worked to put him through his doctorate program. Between the two of us, we have four degrees and are ages 21 and 28.
I gues there was actually a third – I am a Mormon. In our culture, we tend to marry relatively young and start families young. It is just the way it is (though that has been changing).
Post # 6
@Ruby-Redshoes: I would agree with this. My SO and I will be 24 this year, and purchased our home this past summer. We needed less than $10,000 to cover the down payment and closing costs which wasn’t unfathomable since we split it. The reason we have the house is because we tried to save up a lot in high school and college, and also found a good deal here in the Midwest 🙂
We both have worked full time since we were 18, while going to school and earning our degrees. I think it boils down to the trade offs one is willing to face in their college years, where they live, if they have financial support from their family, etc. So many factors!
Post # 7
Married for a year and almost 1/2 …
22 in 9 days.
I’m from utah tho so I should already have 2 children and I got married “Late.”
DH and I both go to school and work part time.
We live Cheaply. We rent a duplex and our only kids have fur.
We can’t travel as much as other bees. Our weeding was under 2,000.
WE have student loan debt and we have opposite shifts so our dogs aren’t left alone too long.
We live actually very well for our age and what not … we just work hard and work together.
We leased our new car and have a used car from his parents.
I’m still on my dads medical insurance … we share a cell phone plan with my mom…
We short cut and coupon when we can.
We don’t have savings. any major emergency would hurt our pocket.
We’ve had to use care credit and borrow money. Our stuent loan debt is pretty bad but the rest of our debt isn’t. We buy one big thing at a time.
Washer and Dryer
what ever.. right now DH actually spoiled me and got me a dsrl
but we just slowly pay it off and we learn togethr….
Post # 8
I’m going to agree with everyone who says that it’s down to where you live. A friend of mine offered to sell me her house when she got married– $50,000. I could have made it work but I don’t want to live around here.
Post # 9
@Quitos Girl: I am 23 and getting married in two weeks! As for me, we have a townhome, one which I could not afford myself but my FI and I split rent. He, started working for a company when he was 17, now 25 but it has helped him to gain a higher up managment position, therefore he may make a little more than most at his age. I could be wrong! I graduated with a bachelors degree in May but started looking for jobs about 8 months before to ensure I would have a job upon graduation, and I landed one about a month before. It isn’t my dream job but I did not want to live off of just my FIs salary, I Couldn’t just not work either, I didn’t go to school for nothing. We don’t have children, just fur babies and they are A handful enough! I guess I can say our “success” if that is what you wanna call it lol comes from my FI he’s really hard working, and I just try to contribute as much as I can for being right out of college
Post # 10
@VivienMarcheline: thanks for your response.
Post # 11
@runningcali: I guess I don’t understand. Tuition is $30,000 a year. How do you work that much and study? Much less find a job that pays enough?
Post # 12
@Quitos Girl: I don’t think it necessarily depends on where someone lives as some previous posters have suggested, but also is influenced by someone’s career path/ socioeconomic status. I am 23. FI and I own a home in the (pretty expensive) SF Bay Area. We both have good paying jobs and this helps us afford a house/ nice cars/ vacations/ hobbies.
I worked a corporate job for most of college (starting out from an internship and then moving up) so by the time I graduated I had a well paying marketing job lined up. FI is in software engineering. Unlike you, I didn’t get money from my parents during college (I wouldn’t accept it – at 18 I knew that I was an adult and didn’t want to mooch) so I think that pushed me to grow my career early on.
That being said, we’re definitely not ready for kids yet 😉 However, I have friends my age that are, and I don’t find it hugely unusual.
Post # 13
I’m 24,I’m not married yet but I’m getting married in May and by that time I will be 25 already.I understand where you’re trying to get to,sometimes I don’t even believe that I achieved so much at such an early age.At 24 I already have my own house,a good and stable job,I’m going to be able to afford my own wedding without getting in debt,I’m really proud of how my life turned out to be but in the end I guess it was just luck,I did the right thing at the right time and things happened,I totally understand what you are trying to say because a lot of people I know are in their 30’s and they still don’t have a stable life.It wasn’t all roses though,I moved out of my country all alone when I was 18 because I was born in a small country and there was no market in the field I wanted to work in,I lived in many cities all across Europe,I lived in terrible places,the houses I lived in were robbed so many times,I had to sleep with one eye open every single night,there was no money for food,I couldn’t pay the rent and was kicked out of many houses,it was hard but at 21 I moved to New York all by myself,I knew no one except for a few family members that I didn’t knew at all,the first two months were terrible,I was lucky to get a job as a waitress and that allowed me to pay for my studies,it was hard but worth it, at 22 I got a smaller job in a great company and at 23 I was promoted,I honestly don’t know how it happened,I have a lot of co-workers that are as good as me or even better,I just worked really hard and just like I said luck played a big part in all this.
Post # 14
@Quitos Girl: I’m 23 and I think it largely comes down to where you live. Cost of living in my city is quite high, and owning a house is pretty much out of the question when you’re in your twenties, unless you are already wealthy. Average price for a typical 3 or 4 bedroom family home in Toronto is almost $1 Million. $800K at least. I don’t think a lot of people my age can say they can afford their own house here! But rent is cheap if you know where to look, especially downtown. And knowing where to park your car cheaply, or just taking public transit, that’s how younger people save money to live a decent life here.
It’s quite easy to work part time and go to school as well, and pay for it all. Even better if you get government aid or private scholarships. Tuition for undergrad in university averages about $7,000, and grad education can be $10K or more. It’s a lot for a young couple just starting in life, but if they are smart with their money and budgeting for things, it’s very doable.
As for babies, most people here wait until they’re about 30, on average. But there are people who have babies at a much younger age and they manage somehow.
Post # 15
We haven’t purchased a house yet, but we graduated (him with a master’s degree, and me with two bachelor’s degrees) with no debt because we were National Merit Scholars and went to school literally on scholarship. We never cut our institutions a tuition check and only had to fund our living expenses throughout school. We drive the same cars we were given on our sixteenth birthdays because they get great gas mileage lol, he has a fantastic job that he really lucked into and we can afford to just bank my paychecks. He earned an internship with the engineering firm and really impressed his boss, so he was hired on full-time (at the highest rate of any of their new hires for 2013, which is a big deal for such a huge firm!) by the regional management. We live by the Dave Ramsey financial program to ensure we don’t try to live above our means. But honestly, the no debt thing is hands down the most contributing factor to our financial success. Because student debt is totally normal, it seems like we’re a few years ahead compared to other recent college grads. We still have a long way to go savings wise!
Post # 16
Yeah, I think my shortcomings were not having jobs during high school and college. I was spoiled, you could say. If I ever have children, I’d want them to work from an earlier age so that they could set themselves up for life earlier than I did. I think a lot of this is luck too, especially those who landed big jobs or got promoted early. I’m happy for all those who have it figured out.