Post # 1
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
Hi everyone,
I am a bridesmaid for the first time and my friend’s wedding is coming up soon. As a wedding guest, I typically give the couple a gift from their registry (at the shower) and a card the day of the wedding with a check for at least $100 inside. However, I’m not sure what’s most appropriate as a member of the bridal party.
The couple lives in another state, so I did not go to the bridal shower. I did go to the bachelorette weekend though (it was in a central location) and obviously I am flying out for the wedding. I bought the couple a customized cutting board with their names and wedding date engraved on it, which I plan to give them at the wedding. They do not have a registry (they’ve asked guests to donate to a charity of their choice if they want to give).
I guess my question is, is the gift I got them enough or should I also try to scrape some money together to give them a monetary gift as well? I feel kind of bad because I’m not working right now, so I am on a tighter budget than usual. Under normal circumstances, I would likely do both (physical gift and money). But I’ve never been in a wedding before, so I don’t really know what’s customary and I don’t feel comfortable asking the other bridesmaids what they’re doing.
The bride is being very generous (she is treating us to massages the day before the wedding and she’s having someone do our makeup the day of), and I do think they will like the gift I got them, I guess I just want to avoid a wedding faux pas.
Thanks!
Post # 2
Member
1943 posts
Buzzing bee
I was genuinely surprised my bridesmaids gave me wedding presents of very generous amounts. Do what you can afford/want to do and the bride should be happy regardless!
Post # 3
Member
1599 posts
Bumble bee
I think the gift you have already is very nice and totally enough.
Post # 4
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
The understanding is that you’re doing the bride/groom a favor by being in their wedding, not the other way around. Often bridal parties will keep their gifting to a minimum considering the additional cost (travel, accomodation, preparation, showers, etc) that they contribute to the wedding journey. A personalized gift is a lovely idea. Gifting a keepsake that will be meaningful to the couple now and in the future like your cheeseboard is a lovely way to say congratulations!
The true gift of course is being there to celebrate them on their big day! The fact that the couple asked guests to donate to a charity in lieu of gifts suggests they won’t be expecting gifts, physical or cash.
Post # 5
Member
338 posts
Helper bee
This is an interesting question! My best friend (for whom I was maid of honor) did not expect gifts from her wedding party at all. Other friends I have been bridesmaids for (or have just talked to about the duties in general) beleive that being a bridesmaids means spending more on a wedding gift. I would say give around the same amount or even less than normal if you really spent a lot to be a bridesmaid- but you probably know your friends best.
Post # 6
Member
6431 posts
Bee Keeper
If you paid for your dress then I don’t think any gift is necessary. If the couple paid, I would gift as normal.
I was in a wedding recently which I travelled from the UK to Australia for, and we still gifted the same as we usually would. If I’d had to buy my dress though I would likely have just given something very small/just a card.
Post # 7
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
Thanks for your responses everyone! This is very helpful 🙂
Post # 8
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
danina246 : I am not expecting gifts from my bridesmaids. I have a feeling my MOH’s (I have 2) will probably do something sweet and personal but by no means do I expect anything. My wedding is expensive. Not just for me but for our guests. It is a luxury resort and for those staying there thats even too much for me to ask. And some bridesmaids will have to travel for our wedding. With that, the dresses, the hair and makeup, shoes, and whatever bachelorette thing we end up doing (looking at a beach getaway for a long weekend) I almost feel guilty just asking them to be there. A handwritten card would be totally enough for me. I’m about to tell them to not get me anything. I will be treating them to a spa day beforehand at the resort but I feel like that isn’t even enough thanks….I wish I could afford to pay for their gowns or their hair and makeup but this wedding is just racking up in costs so I can’t. Luckily I have very understanding and chill bridesmaids.