(Closed) Question about guestlist for reception

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

The proper thing to do is to plan for 100% attendance.  That means if the venue only fits 160, you invite only 160.  However, some even allow some buffer incase someone gets a boyfriend/girlfriend between now and then (you keep social units together).

To be on the safe side, it’s best to not guess at how many no shows there will be.  I have seen weddings where there was 100% attendance!

Also, it’s not good etiquette to have an A list and a B list.  It shows that they weren’t important enough to make the first list (although it makes sense to fill you venue, it’s considered impolite).

So you could find a bigger venue.  
You could just invite the core people (and if they don’t know American wedding etiquette and bring their 5 nephews anyway then you have room to wiggle).

Post # 5
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’ve never heard of it being okay or recommended to invite more than what the venue can hold.  I’d say you should be even more careful if there are people in the group that are prone to bringing extra guests that you may not be expecting.  You could easily end up with too many people and not enough space, or violate a fire code.  Sometimes venues overestimate how many people they can hold… we had that problem with the first place we booked.  They told us a capacity number and we physically walked through and took measurements several times, but ultimately the numbers just didn’t add up.  So double check that you actually can fit that many people!!!  And there are threads on here about high yes RSVP rates.  One recently said she got a 97% yes rate.

I agree with the A list/B list warning.  People talk… if any of your guests know each other, they’ll find out from each other or on facebook or somewhere else that they got a second round invite and it could cause some drama.  Personally I don’t think it’s worth the stress of having people get up in your face just weeks before the wedding over why they weren’t invited or sent Save-The-Date Cards earlier like everyone else, but that’s just me.  I want as little drama as possible!

Post # 7
389 posts
Helper bee


Be careful to address it to Mr and Mr john Smith.  If you address it to the Smith family, they may bring 10 people.  Do have response cards and fill in the name of those specifically invited.  Where it says # of guests, then write 2 if it’s two or 4 if it’s 4 along with the specific name(s).  If you leave it blank, then people may feel they have the right to invite others.

Post # 8
100 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We invited over our venue capacity, but we knew ahead of time that some of the ones were already not able to come (they’re family and they told us in person) so we accounted for those and our out of towners who can’t travel and told us so, plus my wedding is on a holiday weekend, and many of our friends and family already have plans.  Overall though, we’re not much over and I know it will work out because either way we’re not over firecode. 

So unless your positive on certain ones not coming, I would go over, it would be very stressful if they all said yes or even most.  Good luck.

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