(Closed) Question about leaving a child with a sitter

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
3031 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

Depends, some kids…. especially at that young of an age don’t feel comfortable around strangers. Some do. Some don’t. Toddlers can be really picky about who they like and don’t….for example my fiance’s neice would be fine left with me but she didn’t care for my fiance when she was that age.  A year or so later and she just wants to play with him.

Post # 3
Member
1754 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

View original reply
LadyHatter:  Was she saying it will be traumatic for the parents or for the two year old?

I guess it really depends – some children go through awful attachment phases where they can’t be alone without mom and dad for more than a few seconds without screaming.  BUT – it’s not permanent trauma or anything.  Kid will just be unhappy (as will grandma probably).  However, I’ve also seen such kids calm down after 20-30 minutes.

Post # 5
Member
47432 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it will more be traumatic for the cousin than the child.

Post # 6
Member
980 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My son is 2 and generally very good around new people, but I would still be nervous leaving him for an evening with a new sitter who he never met before. My niece is almost 2 and there is absolutely no way she could handle it. She is super attached to her mom and can barely handle being babysat by family members she sees often. Think distraught wailing for hours, totally inconsolable.

Post # 7
Member
58 posts
Worker bee

Why don’t they arrange to have their daughter visit and get to know the grandmother and play with the other kid a few times beforehand?  Your cousin’s child will have to get used to being separated from her parents at some point.

Post # 8
Member
992 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
LadyHatter:  I once sat for a family who’s youngest (a 3-year-old) cried whenever she was left with anyone other than her parents, older brothers, or grandparents. I used to take music lessons from the parents, so I was in their house twice a week since this girl was born, so no one really expected it to be a huge issue for me to watch her one day from about 5 in the afternoon until 9 at night (i think there was a banquet or something that the rest of the family was attending). She started crying when her mom told her goodbye and that they’d be back before bedtime….and spent the next three solid hours SCREAMING, wailing, crying, and generally freacking the heck out.

It was traumatic for me, at least…and I imagine it wasn’t all that fun for her, either….if they’ve had something like this happen before, I can see how they’d be a little cautious about just dropping their kid off with a stranger.

 ETA: though…if you she’ll be two at your wedding, which is a year away, she’s only 1 now…I don’t have kids myself, but I can’t imagine that by this point they’ve ever left the kid with a babysitter and had a meltdown. But that’s just my guess?

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by  amanda.417.
Post # 10
Member
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

It depends on the kids…

What is your cousin’s alternative? Does she have a baby sitter in mind, or is she trying to subtley guilt you to let her bring the kid?

Post # 12
Member
992 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
LadyHatter:  I second Apple_Blossom’s question: are they trying to bring the kid with them? or are they simply declining the invitation?

If it’s the first, I’d say stand your ground…if you don’t want kids, you don’t want kids–they can either suck it up and find a sitter or they can send a card

If it’s the latter, I’d say drop it…it could be that it’s the easiest excuse for not wanting to go. Legitimate or not, if they don’t want to come, then they don’t want to come.

Post # 13
Member
553 posts
Busy bee

Yeah, I wouldn’t leave a very young child, like a toddler, with someone I did not know.  But that is just me.  I remember a friend of mine, when her first child was 2, she left him with me for the day, only because I used to spend every Saturday at her house and so he knew me better than anyone else.  They are not overprotective and I am sure they wouldn’t have wanted to leave their child with a babysitter they did not know.

I was surprised when my husband’s cousin actually asked me if there was a child care service at my exercise class – um, no, and my child was barely 6 months old at the time, and I didn’t have a kid to leave that kid with other people.  (No offense to people who are comfortable wtih doing so!  To each his/her own.)

Post # 15
Member
8028 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am very picky about who I leave my children with. It’s a very short list.

The topic ‘Question about leaving a child with a sitter’ is closed to new replies.

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