Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2014 - Blue Horse Farm
I have a question regarding etiquette of multiple bridal showers. My fiance and I have been engaged since last February and are getting married in September. My mother and sister (MOH) are already planning a bridal shower for me sometime this summer. I was planning on inviting my close family members, bridal party, Fiance’s close family members, and friends. Our wedding is only about 140 people so the bridal shower if I were to include everyone I want would maybe be around 30 people.
My fiance’s parents are divorced and we are very close to his mother’s side of the family but not his dad’s. His aunt on his dad’s side called me the other day and said she REALLY wants to throw me a bridal shower – I’m not against this as I think it is really sweet of her and it would be a good way for me to become closer to that side of his family.
However, the dilemma comes in as to if she is to throw me one – who do I invite? I don’t want to invite people to multiple showers as that seems rude, but I do really want my sister and mom to be able to throw a shower because they are SUPER excited and I think they would do an awesome job.
Do I just invite his side of the family and my bridal party? I really wanted one bridal shower with everyone there so they can all mingle and get to know each other. I know I am super over thinking this probably but I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or come off as rude, so any suggestions you may have would really help! Thanks!
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
I’m having multiple showers…this is what we’re doing, hopefully it helps.
Sister-in-Law is throwing me a shower for their side of the family (in two weeks), but also asked who I wanted to invite in addition…so most invites are all for FI’s side of the family, I added in wives of FI’s friends/groomsmen who I also consider to be friends of mine, my mother will come and two of my friends are invited since my other shower isn’t planned yet and they don’t know if they can make it without knowing the date.
Maid/Matron of Honor is throwing me a shower (but nothing planned yet since she only just realized showers should be planned now – she thought they were the week before the wedding.). She is inviting all my side of the family, bridal party, and friends. We will also invite FI’s mother and sister but tell them they’re not to bring a gift since they would have been at the other shower too.
So I guess I would limit the shower thrown by the Aunt to just that side of the family and maybe some of your close relatives/friends…like your Mom/Sister/MOH just so they can get to know everyone, but let them know they do not need to get you an additional gift.
Post # 4
@MissGatitas: My sister had this problem. She had two bridal showers, one for her side of the family, and one on SO’s side of the family. My mother was invited to the other bridal shower, as well as a few select members of our family, and the bridal party. Sorry, this is kind of confusing, let me break it down:
Shower #1: FI’s family, FI’s friends, Mother-In-Law, mom, a few family members of our family and the bridal party
Shower #2: our family and friends, Mother-In-Law, the bridal party, and a few members of FI’s family.
It was made very clear verbally that those attending both bridal showers did not need to bring gifts to both bridal showers.
It helped cut down on the # of people, because a combined bridal shower would’ve involved over 80 women that wanted to come. Her guest list was 250, and 230 showed up!
Post # 5
@MissGatitas: I would let her throw one with just her side of the family. It’s looking like I’m going to end up having three showers and the only people invited to multiple would be my bridesmaids (including my only sister). I don’t expect them to come to more than one, but am giving them the option if they want to because most of them know people at each one.
Post # 6
I had a few different showers, but all were in different states. I think the only people you should invite to more than one are immediate family (like mom, sister, etc.). Otherwise people may become resentful. If his side throws you a shower, just have it be a small one with their family/friends, and don’t add anyone to the guest list.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2014 - Blue Horse Farm
Thank you all for the advice so far! So it is sounding like I should let her do the bridal shower and invite that side of the family. Would you also suggest I invite FI’s mom side of the family too? Or just have the dad’s side of the family and my immediate family? I’m just thinking on numbers if it is only the dad’s side it would be a REALLY small shower, but I guess that wouldn’t be so bad.
I can have my family and my good friends/bridal party for the shower my Maid/Matron of Honor throws. Of course I will also invite my mom and sister to the one the aunt throws as well. These things can be so confusing 🙂 But it is nice to see that there are a lot of people that are excited and wanting to help out!