(Closed) Question about non tradition….

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I would pay for dinner/drinks, but not the “pre-game” activities. Not everyone may want to spend the whole day with wedding “stuff,” or even like golf/spa, so you could be treating only half your guests to something special.

Post # 4
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@rebwana:  I agree.  I think you definitely need to pay for dinner and drinks after, but you don’t have to pay for any morning activities.

Post # 5
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Also agree with PPs.  People will probably look at the morning activities as optional, so some may not meet up with you guys until the ceremony.  But definitely think you should pay for/provide dinner and drinks, even if it’s just light appetizers and punch.

Ps…love the idea of getting married at sunset under a huge willow tree…that’s what I’m picturing from your description above. 🙂

Post # 7
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Agreeing about paying for dinner/drinks.

And I’m all for no stress! We did similar, neither one of us wanted a big to do. (We’ve both been married before) so we picked a favorite restaurant (that happened to have a private room) and just had 8 people there including us. The use of the room was “free” if we spent X on the check, which wasn’t hard at all, and still was cheaper than had we rented a real venue. We did the whole thing in the same room. Everyone chatted and had drinks beforehand,  then we all just gathered around while we did our super short ceremony and then moved right into ordering dinner. We brought in a small cake too. It was super relaxed and casual and well, perfect.

I say go for it!

Post # 8
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I love your idea. I may steal it!

And I agree with the above – the morning-of stuff can be presented as optional. Whatever spa you use may have a group rate, too. Bring a pitcher of mimosas or something if that’s your thing, and if they allow it (my pedicure place encourages BYO!) and just relax with your friends. Great no-pressure way to do it, I think.

Post # 11
3267 posts
Sugar bee

@Crazyhair:  Etiquette dictates that you pay for what you invite people to.  So if you invited people to the spa, you should pay. 

You could however, tell people that you will be going to the spa, and that they can contact AAAAAAA at 647-xxx-2341 to book in, then they would expect to pay for themselves.

There is no etiquette about what the formality level must be.  Social units must still be invited together, guests must be properly hosted, watered, fed based on the formality level, timing of the event, etc.

What you are planning could be very lovely!

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