(Closed) Question about something.

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think your friend is just bothered by her own loneliness, and while there’s nothing wrong with her behaviour I don’t think it’s healthy for her to dwell on it and project negative thoughts onto herself. If she chooses to dwell on it and not actively try to change it then she shouldn’t be complaining. She should ask her roommate to refrain from making too much noise, put some headphones on and drown out the noise, or go out and do something she enjoys and come back later. 

Post # 3
Member
9527 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

When I was in college and shared a small 4 bed, 2 bath apartment with 3 other ladies we often heard a roommate go at it. One day, after much frustration and gentle hinting, not so gentle straightforward conversations, we were sick of it. We took all of her stuff animals and arranged them in sexual positions in hers and my shared bathroom. Elephant had handcuffs underneith a blindfolded bunny. Teddy and other Teddy were doggy style. Ect.. I have the pics still. Not the most mature way to deal with it but it worked. They hushed down. 

Your friend needs to have a chat with the roommate or just maybe the animals will come out to play.

Post # 4
Member
661 posts
Busy bee

I think hearing sex and the embarrassment that comes along with it varies with the person and their upbringing. The issue of sex is embarrassing for some people. 

Also, the whole sex thing could be one issue among many grievances that are causing jealousy and resentment. For example, I had two roommates that were going through a rough patch. Ome night, one roomate brought home a suitor so we heard bed squeaking. The other roomate confronted the first about it. Which was totally unfair because I had louder sex more often and I’ve never gotten a talking to. It would never have been brought up if they were on good terms to begin with. 

Post # 5
Member
2060 posts
Buzzing bee

Yeah, unless they are constantly boning it seems weird to be super upset about this. We have super thin walls at our apartment and hear our neighbors have sex almost every day. The only time I get annoyed by it is when it’s a 4am and they are being loud (they like makeup sex best lol if it was just sex no arguing it wouldn’t be as annoying either) when I’m trying to sleep. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by  janeblack.
Post # 6
Member
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

It depends. Some people have loud sex knowing that other people can hear it and get off on it. It’s so fucking obnoxious. If theyre trying to keep quiet and shes jealous about that and their relationship, it sounds more like a case of her being lonely and wanting what they have?

Post # 8
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Kacey23:  I would say she is probably lonely and that’s a big part of it. Especially if she seems jealous about the upcoming wedding as well.

Has she spoken to her roommate about this and let her know she can hear them? You can’t exactly expect your roommate to not have sex, but perhaps telling her about it will get her to quiet down a bit.

Also, I did have a roommate who I could hear having sex before. I would hear what sounds like a hand slapping a butt followed by moaning, and I would just put on some music and it would be fine. Yes it was pretty disturbing that I knew and heard what they did for foreplay, but oh well it wasn’t a big deal.

Another roommate I had would put on music in her room every time she had sex with her boyfriend. I knew what was going on whenever I heard that music, but at least I couldn’t hear moaning!

Post # 9
Member
586 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think loneliness is necessarily the cause. I’m very happy in my relationship but I would feel incredibly awkward and uncomfortable if I had to hear someone else having sex. It’s just so inconsiderate… Keep that sh*t private, please! *shudder* I should not know the details of anyone else’s sex life. 

Post # 10
Member
321 posts
Helper bee

Kacey23:  I don’t see how it could possibly stem from loneliness. It is normal to find it distasteful to listen to. It can feel very invasive to have those sounds infringing on your personal space! Your friend really needs to talk to her roommate about it.

Post # 11
Member
230 posts
Helper bee

How about a conversation or an anonymous note… “Please try and keep it quiet when you’re having sex or turn up the music.”

The people making the noise should block/muffle it.

P.S. QuietRock is your friend. That may sound like makeout music but it’s actually a type of soundproof drywall. 

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