Post # 1
I have babies on the brain. My husband and I have been married for only 8 short months and we’re trying very hard NOT to conceive. He’s got several years of school ahead of him and we really, really, REALLY want to wait. I was on the pill for years and hated it so we’re doing Natural Family Planning.
Anyway, one of my coworkers just told me the story of how her first baby, only 7 months old, was a total surprise because she and her husband were also trying not to conceive so soon after their wedding. I also have a cousin back home who got married around the same time I did and is now pregnant with her first baby. Apparently, that one was a total shocker too.
I’m curious – have any of you had one of these “out of nowhere” pregnancies? What birth control methods were you using at the time? I’ll be blunt: We’re doing the sympto-thermal method, and to be extra careful, I only consider it “safe” to have sex after I’ve had 4 consecutive days with an elevated basal body temperature (luteal phase), even though you’re considered “safe” at other times during your cycle too. It means that my husband and I only have about a week each month when we do get to have sex. Bless his heart.
Right now, I’m waiting for my period which has felt like it’s been “coming” for over a week now. My breasts are swollen and sore and I’m breaking out like a 15-year-old. Since there were only 28 days in February, I know my period isn’t “late” yet, but I had such a crazy month with work stress and personal stress that a) I didn’t chart my cycle as consistently and b) I never really felt like I ovulated, which could be easily explained by stress. The last time we had sex was February 17th, and I got a normal period a few days after that. My husband thinks I’m nuts for even considering that I might be pregnant but with all these stories of out-of-the-blue pregnancies, I keep floating into that headspace.
Sorry for this massive post. There’s a lot on my mind and I think I’m beating myself up for my shoddy charting work this past month. At least we abstained as a result.
Any advice is welcome. 🙂
Post # 3
If you’re charting then you should have a pretty good idea about whether you ovulated or not and when. You really can only get pregnant if you had sex up to about 5 days before and 2 days after ovulation. (These are averages.) So it’s a lot harder to get pregnant than the out of the blue stories make it seem. And I often wonder what type of BC etc those couples were using too! So unless you ovulated at a totally different time that you thought, you’re probably safe.
Post # 4
I don’t know if this is an option, but have you considered other forms of BC? Or even condoms?
ETA: You’re most likely in the clear! Especially if you’re accurately charting your ovulation.
Post # 5
@JaneyD: We haven’t had sex at all since my last period, which started on February 19, so unless I conceived right before that period (which doesn’t really make sense anyway), then I’m pretty sure I’m safe too. I tend to drive myself crazy with this whole pregnancy thing, not because I’d be devastated or anything like that (I know I want to be a mom someday), but because it would mean a total re-evaluation of my husband’s plans. He’s working full-time now (as am I) and he’s planning to start his PhD program in 2012. I so badly want him to see that dream come to life and I know that having a baby now would not help matters.
Post # 6
@Gingersnap: Thanks for reminding me! We also use condoms EVERY TIME WE HAVE SEX. Without fail. And (sorry to be gross) we double check at the end to make sure the condom is completely intact.
Post # 7
It sounds like you are taking all the proper precautions, and you’re probably not pregnant. But you already knew that. 🙂 The only two “surprise” pregnancies I personally know about were instances where the woman was not taking the birth control pill properly.
The great thing with NFP is that you’ll see a change in your charts if you DO get pregnant unexpectedly. Most people are able to predict their pregnancy based on their charts long before they can even take a pregnancy test. So don’t worry! You’re fine!