(Closed) question about who is considered the host

posted 9 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Technically they do not have to be listed if you don’t want them to.  But do you think they would be upset if their names aren’t on their at all?  My fiance’s parents are divorced too, but they haven’t remarried. His mom made a comment when we received a wedding invitation a couple months ago about how she couldn’t believe they left the groom’s parents names off.  So…we are including my fiance’s parents, because I don’t want an upset MIL! 

Also, what does your fiance want? Does he have a preference?

Post # 5
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t think that is too much, but it’s about what you want.  Just be sure it isn’t going to bug his family, or that you don’t care if it does!

Post # 7
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

If the bride’s parents are paying for the ceremony and reception, they should be recognized as hosts on the invitation.  The groom’s parents aren’t traditionally mentioned. We didn’t mention my husband’s parents on our invite and I didn’t hear any backlash.  His mom hosted the rehearsal dinner and that was indicated on the Rehearsal Dinner invitations. Just mention all the parents in the programs and you should be fine.

Post # 8
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

you can always go with the option of

“together with their parents”

unless you definitely want to give your parents that credit of hosting.

Post # 9
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I ran into this problem just a few weeks ago.  My parents and I are paying for everything.  Long story short, I am having two receptions.  I am paying for the one in the city I currently live in, and my parents are paying for the one in my hometown.   I had been kind of irritated that FI’s family hasn’t offered to pay for anything.  I do understand that tradition says that the bride’s family takes on the bulk of the expenses, but there are also the traditional expenses that the groom’s family takes care of.  Well, I had sent a mock invitation to my Fiance so he could take a look at it and give it the official approval.  He was reading the wording to his mom over the phone and she flipped out that her name wasn’t on there.  When Fiance asked me about this, I politely pointed out that the “hosting” parents names go on there.  And considering his family hasn’t lifted one finger to help, they definitely didn’t fall into the “hosting” category.  He then said that it shouldn’t matter who’s paying for what when it comes to names on invitations.  As much as it still irritates me (if my parents are paying for everything, I want them to get all the praise) I understand that this was a little bridezillaish of me to refuse to put his parents names on the invites just because they weren’t helping with the wedding.  But….secretly…I’m still irritated as heck, just trying to wisely pick my battles! lol

Post # 10
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think traditionally whoever is paying for the wedding itself (ceremony + reception) — that’s who is listed as the hosts.  If it’s important to your Fiance and/or his parents that his parents are listed in some way on the invite even if they aren’t technically the hosts, you could always do something like:

“Mr. and Mrs. So and So request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter lagizzle to So and So, son of Mr. Father of the Groom and Mrs. Mother of the Groom.” 

That way, they’re still recognized on the invite and it’s not as “cluttered” looking, since your FI’s parents’ names will be on one line under his name.  And it’s a nice way of recognizing them, without having to list them as hosts!

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