(Closed) Question Courtesty of HIMYM: If you break up and get back together…

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: If you break up and get back together...
    Your relationship is on "pause"! : (27 votes)
    23 %
    Your relationship is on "reset"! : (35 votes)
    30 %
    Depends on the relationship. : (49 votes)
    43 %
    Huh? : (4 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1332 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Hmm, I think it depends on time spent apart, and how much you grew/changed in that time?!  For me and SO, it was a ‘pause’, because we were not apart for long – approx. 2 months, and life for us was merely the same.  We just had to grow up a tad, and work on our relationship!  Anyways, we look at that 2 months now as a ‘break’ rather than a ‘break up’, and so starting back up again was not ‘new’ but rather as the world should be 🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    846 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    i think it totally depends on the situation. i think it depends on a couple of things: the time you spent apart, how much you grew and/or changed in that time, and if either of you dated other people while on your “break.”

    Post # 5
    Member
    5009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    If you spend years seeing other people, then I’d see it as a reset. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1627 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Well, on HIMYM they broke up, fall in love with others (Ted has multiple others he loves), get engaged to other people, and THEN get back together. I think they are a reset.

    Break up a few months and don’t date others? Probably a break.

    So I guess it depends lol.

    Post # 7
    Member
    3941 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    In the instance of HIMYM…it was for sure a reset.  8 years!  That’s a long ass time! People change drastically over 8 years and soooo much had happened to both of them. 

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    2465 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I agree with other posters–in this case, it was more of a reset than a break! but on the other side of the spectrum, when my husband and I first started dating, we were falling for each other really quickly and about a month into dating, he freaked out because it was moving so fast (ie, we were seeing each other almost every day). he tried to break up with me, but it was more of a break than a break up, and lasted less than a week. so that was def a break, not a reset

    Post # 9
    Member
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2006

    Depends on the relationship! I knew a girl who dated a guy for 8 months broke up and got back together 5 years later. I wasnt in the relationship but she kept saying “this is old love” like it was just paused. Even though in between she had a baby with someone else and had lived with and been in 2 very serious relationships. He had been married.

    Post # 10
    Member
    461 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I’ve never been in the situation personally, but I think if it’s a break of less than a month, then it could be considered a “pause” but if it’s more than a month or two, especially at younger time in life when people are changing drastically, or if the relationship is still young, then it might qualify as a “reset”.

    I was thinking it was all “reset” at first, but when I thought about it more, I guess it gets a bit murky in there.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    It depends on how much time passes. If you were engaged and calle dit all off, then years later get back together you wouldn’t start at the engagement. Likewise if you were together for a year and break up for a month it doesn’t reset your history. You don’t suddenly have to relearn everything about eachother. 

    I think the longer the separation the more it resets. After so long apart, you have to get to know eachother again, obviously in the time apart you would have both grown and changed in many ways. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    4682 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    Depends on the relationship.

    I thought the question would have been was Victoria fair to ask Ted not to be friends with Robin?

    Post # 14
    Member
    3092 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I’d say “pause” for us.  We never really stopped being close friends…and we never stopped having feelings for eachother…but I’d say in the beginning of getting back together it felt more like a “reset.” 

    Post # 15
    Member
    6256 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2014

    It was a little of both for us. We fell in love all over again, but it was obviously a bit of a break because we got back together in March and were engaged by Labor Day.

    Post # 16
    Member
    344 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    I would take it as a reset, even if only a year went by. You don’t want to repeat the mistakes that you made when you broke up in the first place so why pick it up from where it was left?

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