(Closed) QUESTION: do you think it's okay to have work friends that are male?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
  • poll:

    Yes

    No

    Maybe

  • Post # 17
    Member
    857 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I have all kinds of male friends. He has all sorts of female friends… that he hangs out alone with… on a regular basis! I don’t care at all. I had 3 male roommate my last 2 years of college while we were dating and he didn’t care. I trust him completely. He trusts me completely. I have no issue. 

    I always find it weird when people are upset by someone having a friend of the opposite gender. Just because he has is male, does not mean I want to sleep with him. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    9126 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    Yes of course. 

    I consider sexting, emotional cheating, or physical cheating as a crossed line. Anything else, including going out with male friends, hanging out in a hotel room while on a work trip, etc is fine in our book. We inherently trust each other and our ability to socialize with friends in an innocent friendly way. 

    I work, and travel all the time 6 months a year, with about 95% men. If I werent “allowed” to have male work friends, I’d have no friends.  

    Post # 20
    Member
    1471 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Of course. Then again, DH and I really don;t have an issue with that kind of thing. We were intercontinental for a year. The general rule was “go to dinner/out for a run/hangout etc. with anyone you wish, just give the other a heads up if the friend is opposite sex”. There really isn’t any jealousy here.

    I worked in a challenging school once a week that year. My friend lunches with one of my male friends, where we would raid the convinience store and sit in the staffroom haivng a lunchtime feast saved my sanity.

    Post # 21
    Member
    327 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    @bmo88:  Ahhh, I think I know what ones you’re talking about! Unless that was another user who did the same thing… Idk. 😛 

    Post # 22
    Member
    327 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    @bmo88:  Oh wow, it actually was another poster who had done the same thing. Okay then lol I was wrong I hadn’t seen her other ones. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    4424 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    View original reply
    @bmo88:  Agreed with all you say.

    If there isn’t enough trust in your relationship that you are concerned about having an opposite sex work friend, then I’d be concerned. As long as there is no crossing of boundaries (texting constantly, excessive flirting, sexting…you get the idea), you’re good. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Most of my work friends have always been male, I get along really well with guys. I’m also quite flirty, but the flirtiness has considerably downscaled since becoming engaged. As long as they know and accept that they will always be “just a friend”, then I see nothing wrong with it.

    Post # 25
    Member
    1831 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I voted maybe. I can be friends with anyone in the workplace. But outside it depends on the context and the person. I would not go out 1:1 with a male I found attractive. Married or not, and like it or not, you cannot get away from attraction. Mutual attraction + alone time + dinner/alcohol = problem. I know myself well enough to admit that. I think part of remaining faithful has to do with avoiding temptation in the first place. Or maybe I’m just a skankhoe.

    Post # 26
    Member
    1400 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I have male work friends, male college friends, and old male friends that I’ve known forever.

    For me, the concept of not having friends of the opposite sex because you’re committed is not okay. My relationship is built on a lot of trust and not being able to hang out with another man would not be conducive to that. 

    Likewise Fiance is more than welcome to have whatever friends he likes.

    The line is crossed if the relationship goes further than a friendship. That is applicable with men or women. When you start confiding in and running to another person over your spouse, then you’re crossing the line. I mean, of course you can confide in your friends. But if youre talking to someone else about your problems and not your spouse, there’s a fundamental problem. 

    Your spouse is the one you’re committed to first and foremost. Your friends, of any gender, should come after. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    5187 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Wow. There are males and there are females. At some point in time members of the opposite sex are going to interact with one another and if the experience turns out to be positive, IT’S O-FUCKING-K!! I can’t grasp why this is an issue for some people. Are people who are in romantic relationships supposed to distance themselves from all members of the opposite sex whenever possible? If my husband were to shut out all interaction with women just because of their gender it wouldn’t mean he’s more loyal to me, it would mean he’s an unsociable asshole. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    9079 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Yup. The moment my husband starts telling me which gender I can and cannot be friends with, we have a monumental problem.

    Post # 29
    Member
    328 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Definitely ok with me. One of my good friends I met through my husband because they work together and became friends. Now she works in another office and I talk to her more than he does. I think it’s definitely possible, but obviously both parties need to have the right intentions and personalities for it.

    Post # 30
    Member
    2089 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @ashley050406:  my best friend at work is a man. He’s awesome! He’s happily married and I’m happily planning my wedding to Fiance. There is ZERO sexual chemistry, we are just good friends. I often read text conversations that we have aloud to Fiance just because they are so funny!! 

    Post # 31
    Member
    415 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    What century is it???? Of course it’s ok.

    The topic ‘QUESTION: do you think it's okay to have work friends that are male?’ is closed to new replies.

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