Post # 17
@CarolinaCola: From another perspective, I think the snark comes from not understanding what you do all day. To me (someone who has never stayed home) it seems like it would be boring. However, I know that it must not be since many people chose to stay home! Perhaps use it as a teachable moment and tell them how you spend your time? Similar to saying you’re a hobbyist, but detailed?
…On a side note (and I swear completely not snarky just curious), what do you do to fill your time?
Post # 18
Fiance is a veteran and also works and goes to school. I go to grad school full-time and keep a lovely home for us. When Fiance said that I could stop working and just be a student and home-maker I was ecstatic. We’re fine financially, it works for us and we love our life together.
As another bee posted, When people ask I say I’m kept woman too lol. I get the snarky “must be nice” also, especially from people who have to balance a ton of other responsibilities- work, school, kids, etc. I respond with “thank you, it is quite nice and we’re very happy.” Because for me, it IS quite nice. I used to feel guilty about it but I refuse to feel badly anymore. We’re both “boot-strappers” and things won’t always be this way but for the next few years I’m going to enjoy every moment of it.
Post # 19
You could always say, “I don’t work outside the home.” That is a statement that kind of heads off the idea that you don’t do anything at all, so you might get fewer of the unwelcome comments.
Many people just ask so they have something to discuss, so it can create an uncomfortable silence if you simply say you don’t work. If the person was prepared to ask you how you like your job, or what it entails or further pursue conversation, saying you don’t work doesn’t give them anything to go on. So if you instead said, “I don’t work outside the home, but I volunteer with the Head Start program and run a book club” (substitute the things you do or are involved in, of course) that would give the other person enough information about you to continue a discussion.
Post # 20
Lol I say it must be nice, but not out of sarcasm! I’m just jealous and truly think that must be nice because my job SUCKS. Id love to stay home
Post # 21
I’d just be like “I’m retired” and since I’m 26 people would look at me funny and I’d be like “Yeah. It’s pretty frickin sweet!”
Post # 22
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
I just say nothing since I don’t feel the need to tell them anything. I’ve never had the rude comments yet thoug.
Post # 24
That’s a good point. Lots of people probably don’t understand it. To answer your question, I do the usual cooking, cleaning, shopping. I run errands like going to the bank and post office, etc since Fiance hates that. Also, my mom doesn’t drive so I help her a lot with things she needs to do, too. And of course, lately, wedding planning.
ETA: I also write letters/thank you cards to deployed soliders every week!
Post # 25
I need to work on that! I still feel guilty about it sometimes.
Post # 27
That sounds great and definitely fulfilling! I imagine you get to fill your time doing a lot of what you love but wouldn’t have time to do if you worked outside the home. That’s great you help your mom out, and that you write letters to soldiers 🙂 Thanks for clearing it up!
Post # 28
I just say “I don’t work,” which pretty much sums up the situation, and housewives aren’t uncommon in Boston :-)! I do run one of FI’s companies from home, so sometimes I’ll say that (and by that I mean I work as much as I want, I could never work on it at all if I chose, I usually do so for about 2ish hours a week on busy weeks, very “set it and forget it” type thing), but honestly that sounds worse to me than just saying that I don’t work since they’ll usually always ask follow-up questions about my Fiance and get snarky.
Post # 29
I usually say I’m a student, cause I am, if I weren’t I’d probably answer with a hobby or something.
I don’t think you need to answer that you don’t work, work is not the only thing that people DO. (But it sad how often that ends up being true)
If people are rude and say “must be nice” I’d be tempted to answer “YEAH IT IS FUCKING NICE, HAHAHA” cause it would be awesome to not need to work! And rude people are rude!
Post # 30
That is my dream to not work, but at the same time being a stay at home MOM is a lot more respected in my area than a stay at home WIFE. It is quite confusing to some people I know when people don’t volunteer somewhere or work at a hospital for free some days when they don’t even have kids to be with all day. As a full time worker at a job I love, but can be exhausting, i will most likely work 3 days a week when we do have kids. I think people can be rude for sure but just realize they are truly confused as to what you do with your days.