Post # 1
I am getting married Oct. 20. I am a super impatient person and so is my Future Mother-In-Law. Since we got engaged and even before we got engaged she was talking about grandkids. Side note… I am 23.. just finished school a year ago and Fiance and I bought a house last August, got engaged in December. Everyday my mind switches back and forth to when I want to have kids. Fiance is 26 and would like to start within two years or so. I think I am just scared that 1. I wont be ready for a child, 2. Ill be constantly tired and never catch up on sleep…but there are days where I know I will have a blast and hopefully a great mom… I imagine what our kids will look like, how they will act, their names… but I dont know if I will regret having a child so young… like I said I am a super impatient person so I know the day after we get married my mind will be pushing for a new adventure.
I guess my question is… for those bees who had children in their early 20’s… what exactly changes? do you regret have children so young, do you wish you would have waited or was it the best thing that happen to you?
Sorry guys for I guess freaking out… everything is kind of hitting me.
Post # 3
@morgyporgy: I know my answer isn’t the exact answer you are looking for but, I had my son at 16 so for me it was extremely difficult because I was still in school and had no family support. I put him in daycare during the day and worked in the evening while his dad kept him so I could pay for the daycare/diapers/etc. His dad was a jerk – cheated, didn’t help financially, didn’t agree/follow my “rules”/ But, even with all of that stress/no free time there is nothing I love more than being his mommy. He is 11 now and he is the most amazing child ever. I have teachers compliment me all the time on his manners and how smart he is and I have his coaches compliment me on his athletic abilities and sportsmanship. There is no better compliment you can receive than one about your child. With all of that being said I will tell you there is no “right” time to have a baby. If you wait until you have enough money or have done enough traveling or have a bigger house or a better job it will never happen. Just do it when it feels right. I know that doesn’t really answer your question but, I think you will know 🙂
Post # 4
Wow, so did I!!!
I have three children, all born before I was 25. I had a tonne of energy back then, and I found that was just what I needed to go through everything emotionally, physically and mentally required for kids.
It is very normal to be wondering how your life will change for this event, so don’t worry-completely normal and also very responsible of you as well. When to have kids is such a personal thing–when you know, you just know when you are ready.
To answer your question, having my kids in my early 20’s was hard, I am not going to lie! Financially there was never enough money, and things were tight. Also, I put my education on the backburner-twice. I felt out of the loop with my friends who were getting married, and also felt at times not takent seriously by other moms in playgroups, schoolgroups. It didnt help that I looked very young at 25 as well.
Looking back, I wish I would have waited a bit longer until I had finished school and was more financially stable, as I had health issues with my pregnancies and was on bedrest for 7 months, which dinged us hard. It also left me having to go back to work early. Things happen, my best advice is to try to prepare as much as you can, enjoy your life together as newlyweds, and talk a lot about your expectations of each other as parents. Never stop talking about this 🙂
I hope this helps.
Post # 5
We had #1 when I was 24 in 2010 and are trying for #2 right now – FH is 8 years older. I am sooooo grateful that I’m a “young mom”. You get tired, and you get stressed, but it’s better to go through all of this when you’re young and you have the energy and the excitement to back it up. I graduated when I was 21, and was well-established in my career path. We’re debt free except for our mortgage, and both have great jobs. I have an amaing social circle, and I got all of the crazy stuff out of my system from 16-22 🙂 it’s so rewarding to have my little family and my house to take care of, and with proper planning neither FH or myself miss out of anything – I went to San Francisco, Whistler, and Las Vegas last year for weekend trips with friends, and we still have date nights and other plans with friends. I guess I’m just really grateful that I have my family 🙂
Post # 6
I got pregnant when I was 18. Honestly it was the best thing to ever happen to me. I want my next child to be here before I’m 28. I like everything about young parents including being one. More energy for one thing and being young when they leave home so your still fairly young when you have a “take two” just your SO and you.
Post # 7
I had my children at ages 17, 23 (with DH), and now pregnant with ourlast child at 27. Being a young mom was definately challenging, but there is a big difference in being a young mom that is not finished with school or financially secure then being settled and having a child young.
I think it has been great to be a young mom. I have tone of energy to keep up. My DH and joke that we look forward to being young when your kids leave home for college too. We will still be able to travel and really enjoy that time in our lives then too (we will be 46 and 47 when our kids are all in college).
Post # 8
I feel that if you are worried you may not be ready, then you probably aren’t.
When I was 22 my husband I got pregnant (he was 28) and I had no doubt in my mind that I was ready. I have endomitriosis and I figured that it’s better to do it now then possibly my chance. A LOT has changed…. especially when friends your age aren’t married and don’t have kids. You don’t really see them as much, and you start to hang out with married couples who have kids and are in the same stage of life as you are. And you have to know that when all of your friends are going on girls trips and getaway weekends, you most likely won’t be able to go. That is probably the biggest change I have noticed.
Post # 9
I had my daughters at 20 and 22. A lot changes but then again it doesn’t if that makes sense. My sleeping habits changed, I used to be able to sleep through anything but now the slightest sound and I’m awake. I was very blessed with two babies that didn’t give me much sleep deprivation, but then again I breastfed and kept them in bassinets next to me. I had kids a lot younger than any of my friends which was difficult, they’re starting now and I have an almost 4 year old and a 5 year old. So I had to make new ‘mommy’ friends. I remember being scared I wouldn’t know what to do but everything you hear is true, a lot is natural. It sounds bad but I never wanted kids but 3 months after getting married I was expecting. I told the doctor to tie my tubes as soon as my daughter was born, she said she couldn’t I was too young. I am so grateful she didn’t, I met my daughter and I knew I was meant to be a mommy. It’s an amazing journey that leaves you wanting to lock yourself in the bathroom for 5 minutes of ‘alone time’ but it is so worth it. I wouldn’t change the age I had them, everything worked out the way it was supposed to. A lot of people say you’ll never be at an age where you’re ready and it’s true. Whether your 20 or 40 parenthood is a scary thing. Fiance are planning on having two more and I’m scared for that! lol Good luck with whatever your choice is and sorry for the rambling! 🙂
Post # 10
I agree with @MissDareDevil, if you have to doubt your desire for having kids, then you might not be ready. Personally, I wasn’t ready to have our son, but he also wasn’t exactly planned. Fiance and I weren’t necessarily being careful, but we weren’t trying, and really didnt think it would happen to us. I was 21 when I had our son (his birthday is the day before mine! :)) and Fiance was 28.
But things that have changed for us have all been for the better. It definitely made our relationship stronger, our love for eachother greater, and our appreciation of eachother undeniable. For myself, I had to take a semester off of school in order to give birth. But i was back in school the next semester, and because of a great support system, I did fantastic.
Little things chage as well, sleep habits, finanical situations, more laundry, but its all things that you can easily adjust to.
I wish you the best of luck when you do decide to TTC
Post # 11
I was first married at 24 and had my children at 25 and 27. I intentionally had my children right away because my mom had me in her late 30’s and frankly she was tired. She was more like a grandmother than a mother to me. I didn’t want that for my children. I had my children younger so I’d have the energy for them. Now, I’m 45 and my kids will be 18 and 20 this year. I’m SOOOOOOOOOOOO glad I had them young, because now I am tired.
Post # 12
I have my daughter at 16 I am 21 now Dh and I don’t have any kids of are own , DD IS ONLY MINE 😉 , well we will ttc at the end of this year my mon was 35 when she have me so I am glad I am a young mom is really nice 😉 , is very hard sometimes when most of my friends ate partying I am taking care of my daughter and Dh 12 yrs old boy but we get to have are fun every other weekend , ( only because wE have a broken family and are
Kids had to go on visitations every other weekend !