Post # 16
Following. Boyfriend or Best Friend is American, I am Italian. We live in New York and most of our friends are here. All my family lives in Italy. Now that engagement is super close, we have been discussing a lot how to have our wedding and where. I would love to have it here in New York, but the downside is that it would be much more expensive, and my father most likely wouldn’t come. He is very old, has moderate medical issues, and hates to fly.
I really would want to have some kind of celebration here in New York. Maybe church wedding in Italy with regular wedding party there and civil wedding here with a more relaxed-fun party here?
Post # 17
lunalovegood88 : Thanks for sharing! It has been so helpful to read every bee’s experience. I can imagine the costs of having more than one wedding could get out of hand rather quickly, but I also am so stuck on choosing one country over another… I’ve never actually realized anyone would think it was rude to have more than one wedding, unless of course you expected attendance at both!
Post # 18
futuremrsbee83 : Keep us updated what you decide when you become engaged! 🙂 Have you considered the legality of marriage in US vs European country? That’s a piece of the puzzle I haven’t even touched yet!
Post # 19
newlydutchbee : I haven’t considered that yet. Do you know if there is any differences? I am inclined to have our religious wedding in Italy and our civil wedding here. The religious wedding in Italy is legally valid (at least over there). This way we will be legally married in both countries. What do you think?
Btw I am superexcited, the ring has been in the house since last friday and I can’t wait to be officially engaged to my wonderful man!!! 🙂
Post # 20
futuremrsbee83 : Congrats will be in order SO soon, that’s so exciting!
I had just fallen down a rabbit hole looking at Italian destination weddings (almost 5pm on a Friday = not doing real work…oops!) and came across this, which could be helpful for you: http://www.brideswithoutborders.com/articles/destination-italy-how-to-plan-a-legal-wedding-in-italy there is a section on the necessary documents to get married in Italy 🙂 not sure about the US though… this is something I need to look into myself! (I’m American, Boyfriend or Best Friend is Belgian).
Post # 21
newlydutchbee : We don’t expect all guests to travel for our wedding but rather only VIP’s (family and best friends). So we are compromising by having our civil wedding (by a judge) in the US and a Catholic wedding in his country (on a later date). The civil wedding is on the casual side (kinda tropical, outdoor style) and more intimate while the Catholic wedding will have a larger guest list and will have the elements of a traditional/classic wedding.
Post # 22
Actually no-one, let alone ‘a lot’ say “ it’s rude to have more than one wedding” . What is said however , is that it is not on to conceal the fact that a couple are already married and then call the public/social ceremony a wedding so that guests think they are witnessing something they are not . Or when people denigrate their courthouse marriage as if it were something meaningless compared to the subsequent ceremony with the dresses and cake and guests etc .
Everyone accepts that cultural and military circumstances often mean two equally necessary/important ceremonies .