Post # 1
So I always thought I wanted kids. Recently, though, I’ve been REALLY worried/nervous about it. I am 31, and will be 32 at LEAST by the time a kid is born. I’m finally beginning to like my body (kinda) and know that will change when I have kids. I’m scared I will be a bad mom. I’m scared our kids will have horrible disabilities. I’m worried my in-laws will judge me for going back to work after I have kids. I’m worried they’ll judge my every move, actually.
My fiance wants kids, and I know we’ll have them, but I was just wondering…were any of you ambivalent/unsure about having kids and then found a way to turn it around and be excited?
Post # 4
I don’t have kids yet but I think this is all very normal. We want kids, but sometimes I worry that I will be a horrible mother. I think everyone has these thoughts beforehand.
Post # 5
@michiru4ever: I just feel like people are excited to have kids. I don’t want to have to take care of a baby. I have never changed a diaper!
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I don’t have kids, but those sound like completely normal worries. You’re getting closer to the reality of kids, vs. the dream of them, so of course these thoughts come up.
And who says who can’t have a rockin’ bod after kids? 🙂
Post # 7
I think it just more scary when it becomes so real. I’ve always wanted kids and now that we’re TTC, I’m sort of terrified. I think the terrified feeling will stick until I get pregnant, then mayabe the excitement will kick in.
Post # 8
My husband and I have a plan to start TTC this summer. While I have great maternal instincts and dream of having children, I’m SUPER scared. To the point where if everything that I am trying to accomplish doesn’t fall in line this year I may start making excuses to push it off. I hope not though, I hope I’m ready when I’ve said I’m going to be since I have this year to accomplish what I need beforehand. Anyway, my point is, it’s probably one of the all-time scariest decisions to make in life. Bringing a child into this world is no small feat and it changes your life drastically for the rest of your life. However, I think that the scarier the prospect, the more rewarding and wonderful and I think that’s probably multiplied 100fold when it comes to having children.
Post # 9
I’m actually trying to change my habits and body now BEFORE kids, because even though we’re young, I know that when we do start TTC I should probably stop with eating fast food 24/7 and working out …never, haha. So I want to get healthy now, and when the time comes, hopefully I can be healthy for 2.
I think all your concerns sound legitimate. Like I said, I’m not TTC yet, but everybody has concerns!
Post # 10
Yeah, I never wanted kids. Mine came about unexpected and early, and I certainly just made the most of it. Obviously now I think she’s pretty awesome. I think it’s a pretty normal feeling to feel a little unsure of how it’s going to go, how you’ll cope with other people’s influences/opinions, whether you’ll *like* your life after.
Post # 11
We decided we were going to be happy either way. Then… I made two life plans- grad school now for an MFA (I was preparing my app this fall) OR have kids and figure the rest out later. I am someone that goes 100% for whatever is working out in life- so now I am 100% dedicated and excited. I know it is a big huge decision, and it should be. But really, don’t care what anyone thinks – that is always a loosing battle. I have a family that judges (as in- treats you badly and looks down on you and makes fun of you for- ) ANYTHING. I think having kids gives you confidence not to care because you get this momma bear thing goin on- I think you have to not care whatever you decide, people might seem to be judging you no matter what you do- but really, the decision is yours. It is SO good to think it through though! A friend once told me to prepare for everything I want and what works out is meant to be- that is pretty much how I manage life.
PS I don’t think there are perfect parents- I think you just do the best you can.
Post # 12
I have always wanted kids but now that it’s physically/financially/relationship-ally possible, it freaks me out. I think it’s totally normal to feel that way. Why shouldn’t you be nervous about being a mom? It’s not like you’ve done it before! 🙂
Post # 13
I was scared to be a mom to my stepdaughter, but your instincts kick in hardcore and it turns out amazing. There are hard moments, but there are so many amazing moments too. It’s a huge change, and having your own baby makes it about a million times different.
You have to decide if it’s worth it for you. You are giving up A LOT. I rarely get to get out with my hubby. The idea of being able to just leave the house when you want and do whatever you want for however long you want to is really foreign to me haha. But I wouldn’t change it for the world.