question for SAHMs

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 121
Member
4060 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

italianbride0508 :  Yes. That exactly. So much of the expense of raising children isn’t in the expected, but the unexpected: medical costs, after-school acitivities, formula because breastfeeding didn’t work out, three boxes of diapers this month vs two because baby had a growth spurt…

My kid wears clothes from a consignment store. Why on earth would I spend more than $1 on somehting he probably will outgrow next week? OP is completely missing the point. No one said kids need expensive clothes. But they DO need security.

Post # 122
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Are vacations, nice clothes, sports fees, college necessities? NO. 

Is food, bed and roof all you need to raise a child? Also NO. 

If you think that food, bed and roof are all a child needs you need a big slap of reality. 

Your kids need clothing (goodwill is fine, whatever, but it still costs $), medical care (no discounts for this except ins!), your baby might need formula. 

My son was born a month premature because I developed pre-e. Was I planning on that? Hell no. It costed THOUSANDS (close to tens of thousands) for medical care for my son and I. His pre-insurance medical bills were in the hundreds of thousands. 

So no, your kid doesn’t need vacations, and new clothing, and an Ipad. But you need to have enough money to be able to cover things like the above that DO happen to people and living on 40K will likely NOT give you enough to cover unexpected expenses unless you really save for a long time prior to you leaving the workforce. 

Post # 123
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Kids deserve to have parents that work hard and sacrifice so that they can have a better life than their parents. No kid wants to be part of a family that chooses to be poor.

Post # 124
Member
453 posts
Helper bee

Also lol’ing at all the sheeple that still believe college is a must, let alone something I as a parent would be responsible for paying for. 

Suzanne Venker’s writing must have really opened your eyes to… stuff.  Good luck to you and your potential children.

Post # 125
Member
1305 posts
Bumble bee

maebae :  Did you actually read the responses?  I don’t see one Bee that said you were responsible for providing a college education for your future children.

I know you won’t respond to me because you are only responding to the Bees that are giving you the responses you are looking for, instead of acknowledging that while money isn’t everything, it is one of the biggest factors in marital problems.  You sound very young or very naive.  From what I’ve seen of your other posts, you and your boyfriend have only been together a year.  I think you’re putting the cart before the horse.  While I think it’s important to discuss your wants and needs for your relationship, your posts scream of selfishness.  If you have it all figured out, why did you ask how you can coerce your boyfriend to change his mind?

Post # 127
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

maebae :  “Can $40k a year support a family living a very simple lifestyle?”

In my area, no it’s not going to be enough to support a family. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if you want to be a Stay-At-Home Mom, you need to be with a partner who agrees with your being a Stay-At-Home Mom and is able to provide you with enough money to make that happen. And I don’t see that happening on 40k. My Darling Husband is very open to me being a Stay-At-Home Mom, but he also makes six figures, so that’s a realistic option.

However, I don’t think that being a Stay-At-Home Mom is a good idea, and I wouldn’t recommend it because it’s too hard to get back into the working world after you have been out for a few years. Things happen (your supporting partner gets ill or becomes disabled, divorce, etc.) and then what would you do? (Like I said, getting back into the working world after leaving is hard.) If you want to spend more than average time with your family, you can still work part-time, especially since your kids will be in school after a few years.

Post # 128
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think it’s also important to factor in child care costs compared to income.  Where I live, childcare is $1200 to $1400 a month, even more for babies.  And that’s just for one child. Factor in work expenses like a second car, gas, and work clothing as well.  If you make 6 figures, you still pull in way more income than expenses.  But if you make $30k a year, you’re not netting much after taxes and childcare/work costs.

That being said, there are obvious benefits to staying in the workplace beyond net income, but it’s important to consider childcare costs against the 2 income argument.

 

Post # 129
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Arae83 :  yes that is true but you also have to think about opportunity cost. If you leave the work force you lose years of experience and potential income growth. You lose skills as well. Depending on your field of course this differs. It can be hard to get a job after being out of the workforce for a period of time. I’ve worked in recruiting previously and unfortunately seen previous Stay-At-Home Mom who are trying to get back into the workforce be tossed aside because of outdated skills and lack of experience.

 

Post # 130
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

beevincent18 :  Agreed, that’s why I said there are benefits to staying in the workforce beyond net income.

Post # 131
Member
2422 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I’m at Stay-At-Home Mom ATM and my hubby wants me to be at home , which I am happy with as I loveeeeee it. We decided together before our Bub that a daycare isn’t the best thing for him (my mum is an early childhood therapist, so have some background in the decision) – just a personal one don’t want to offend anyone. We figured the children are only little for such a short period of time and the extra money that I would make will be eaten up anyway and we won’t notice it gone for a few years. The first three years of a child’s life is paramount and so important and that’s our priority. I’m lucky we are on the same page. Good luck

Post # 132
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

maebae :  maybe I missed it, where do you live? Also, hope you have good health insurance… we have spent over 7k on C-section and med bills alone with health insurance.

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors