(Closed) question for single moms marrying someone younger WITHOUT kids…..

posted 8 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 3
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

So, I just found this post.  I know that it is old, but I wanted to reply to you.  I am in the same boat.  My Fiance is 5 years younger & my son is 14.  I know it isn’t easy to walk into a teenager.  I completely agree & understand what you are saying.  I feel the same way.  We were on our one for 12 years before Fiance & I got together.  I get torn between the two of them sometimes.  My FI wants me to be tougher with him when he does something wrong.  I do what I feel is right.  One thing my mom taught me is that as a parent, you sometimes have to not punish for something MINOR.  Fiance thinks anything he does wrong, he should be grounded.  I had to lol at the statement that your Fiance made of “I would just ground him for a month if it was MY kid” because my Fiance has said the same exact thing.  So just know that you aren’t alone at all!

Post # 4
26 posts
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree with both of you. I am in the same situation. My FH is 11yrs young and my daughter is 16. He and I have been together for four years but my daughter and I were flying solo for 10yrs before we met….he says the same thing that she gets off easy but I do believe also that you have to remember when you were that age and him also having a stepparent in his life would need to understand how hard it is to share someone that you have had on your own all your life and now feel like they are being taken away. they are still learning to understand each other even after four years. So it will take sometime…but if he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you he will need to support your decisions in how you raise your son and not contest them.

I explained to my FH over and over how important it is to have a bond with my daughter as well as myself. I am not expecting him to be her dad because she is almost a adult but i do expect him to be a great friend to her and someone she can always rely on.

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