(Closed) Question for the brides who are saving themselves…

posted 10 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

From what I understand about the female body, the hymen (the membrane that surrounds the external vagina), is mostly worn away by the time a woman is 16.  This depends on how active the girl is (horseback riding will wear it away faster), and on tampon use.  (Wikipedia has a great article on "hymen".)  Most girls probably feel some resistance or pain their first time.  Don’t waste your time with silly devices to stretch yourself out or attempt to break your hymen yourself.  You wouldn’t want to cause an infection.  Be open and honest with your OB.  Discuss what methods of birth control you are interested in (if any) and do some research on reputable sites (WebMD) before you go in.  He/she may even be able to tell you if your hymen is still intact.  From a medical stand point, that would have been interesting for me to know before my first time.

My last piece of advice is to avoid casual advice on this subject.  Many people are ill-informed on this subject, but consider themselves experts.  Write down your questions and bring them to your OB.

Post # 4
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2008

Yeah, I’m going to the gynecologist and doing what they tell me..

Slightly related, possibly Too Much Information question —
I have never done anything to "the hair down there"… ever. I’m not really interested in going completely bare, but I don’t know quite how to start (or where to stop!) with any trimming efforts. Also, should I try to do this before the gynecologist’s appointment? I guess if I don’t it’ll really prove that I’m a virgin. 🙂 

Post # 5
Member
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Jnicholea — do you wear tampons? Tampons, especially i you’ve worn them for years, naturally give your body some flexibility. If not, then you guys are just going to need to take it slow (which you should anyways 😉

December — consider going to a really reputable waxing salon. Just ask for a BASIC bikini. Tell them it is your first time so you want someone that can be extra gentle. (a great way to find a good wax salon is yelp.com) A basic bikini just takes off the sides so that you don’t have anything coming out of your panties. They also can take off the top if you want so that if you bikini area extends up to your stomach.

Take 2 tylenol before you go (don’t drink soda or coffee). I promise you girl, it’s no big deal. If you have an excellent salon that uses good quality wax, it’s virtually painless. Not even as bad as ripping off a bandaid.

Good Luck!

 

 

Post # 6
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

A OB/GYN would not have the expectation that you will be shaved or trimmed.  Just be clean, but not super clean-just take your shower like normal and avoid douching (which there is no reason ever for a woman to do this anyway).  Regarding the wedding night, it would be nice to be trimmed (probably no more than 1/4 inch down and 1/4 inch in on either side, just enough that no hair extends past the panties you will be wearing).  Waxing makes it nice and smooth.  I highly recommend it, but some girls may be a little shy.  I know I was the first time, but you get over it.

Post # 7
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2008

December…maybe a Too Much Information answer to your question, but sometimes a beard trimmer does the trick too.  I am lucky to be natuarly groomed- no bikini wax necessary for me, but I like to keep it a bit trimmed.  SO I bought a trimmer and use the guard (use the guard) to clean up.   Also, I agree with Niki, be open with your OB/GYN about you questions, concerns, etc! 

Post # 8
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Just putting this out there but if you have time before the wedding you can experiment and see what you prefer for the hair length. I myself use a mustache trimmer (hey! it works!) and it leaves the hair about 1/2 an inch long. It’s not shaved but its still manageable. Maybe start short and grow it until you are comfortable with it? Just stick with whatever makes you feel sexy.

Post # 9
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Make sure you have any and all "supplies" you might need – especially personal lubricant – I recommend astroglide – because it really does make it a lot easier. 

Post # 10
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2007 - a beautiful church and hotel reception

I really got into bikini waxing a few years ago, and now I’m hooked! I would really go to yelp reviews and/or ask for recommendations by friends.  It’s kinda of scary the first time you go because you don’t know what to expect and you want to make sure they are clean & professional.  I’m a total sissy so I think it hurts like a mother, but I think the cleanliness of it is totally worth it!!

 As for saving ourself for marriage, both of us had saved ourselves for our wedding night and we asked a lot of questions to our pre-marital counselors.  It was embarassing, but I’d rather ask the right people about what to expect. They gave us books that were emotionally and physically informative.  If you need any recommendations, just message me!! 

Funny note: my OBGYN would NOT believe me when I said I was a virgin! I could see it in her eyes…. I guess virgins are incredibly rare these days.  But the waiting was totally worth it for me =)

Post # 11
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

your OB/Gyn won’t blink an eye no matter what kind of hairstyle you have (or lack thereof).  They look at privates (some of them unhealthy) all day long… All they’re looking for is normal anatomy. I would suggest going a while before your wedding so you can get your birth control regimen in check so you avoid being on your cycle for your big day.

Post # 12
Member
37 posts
Newbee

Thanks for posting this, im also saving myself for marriage so the post and answers were very helpful

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