- 5 years ago
The last three times that I saw Mother-In-Law without Darling Husband she made insensitive comments about me and DH’s decisions that I don’t think she would have made them if Darling Husband was there. Her comments were geared towards me and they were made in a vague and “helpful” way, but I told Darling Husband and we both agree that it sounds like she was trying to further her own agenda.
It caused significant problems and rather than invite drama we agreed that we weren’t going to address it and I would only see Mother-In-Law when Darling Husband was there. This was months ago and the last two times Darling Husband traveled for work, she tried to see me alone. She may specifically be targeting times when DH is gone so she doesn’t have to compete with time that I want to spend with Darling Husband, but I’m distrustful given her ongoing comments. I don’t like being deceitful by not telling her (or letting Darling Husband tell her) about my issue with her, but I’m not willing to let her do this to me again. Do you think that it’s reasonable for me to morph MIL’s invitations to see me alone into activities that Darling Husband and I can do with her together?
A divorced friend who left her marriage partially due to Mother-In-Law issues pointed out a concept that really makes sense to me. She said that we should definitely NOT say anything to Mother-In-Law because older woman have difficulty accepting criticism and advice from younger women because the older woman always thinks that she knows better based on her experience.
I am wondering if the MIL bees really think this about younger women? I am 32 and know that if a 22 yr old came into my office and tried to tell me I’m doing my job wrong, I would think that my 15 years of experience trumphs her 6 months. Is this the same thing? I grew up without a mother so I don’t have anything to compare it so to this is the closest thing I could relate. It’s so confusing!