(Closed) Question for those of you who are still waiting for a proposal…

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

We sat down together and talked out a timetable (the end of this year) mostly because our top choice venue fills up about 1 1/2 to 2 years in advance. What really helped me was when one night, over a bottle of wine, we talked about how we defined being engaged, and decided that it was a mutual feeling that the time was right. I like that we decided it together, and I think if we hadn’t, I wouldn’t have wanted to wait more than one or two more years. Not to say that I’d dump him or anything, just that I would have wanted to have a talk about where our relationship is going. 

It’s a lot easier waiting for the ring when you know it’s just a ring and you’ve already accepted the proposal. Plus, I get another “real” proposal. 🙂 

Post # 4
Member
1776 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

When my bf and I started getting serious, I did let him know that I was not interested in the “5-year plan.”  By no means did I give him an ultimatum, but he understood what my timeline was.  I always hoped to be married by 30, and he always figured he’d be married in his early 30s.  If everything goes as planned, I’ll be 29 and he will be 30 when we get married, so we both kinda get what we want. (Luckily his timeline was similar to mine!) 

We’ve been together for a few months over 3 years now, and the engagement is right around the corner.  🙂  We’re not in any rush, we’ve seen friends start dating after us and get married before us…you just need to decide what is right for you and your SO.  You definitely want to make sure both parties are “ready,” but at the same time, it can be soooo frustrating being the one that has to wait!

 

Post # 5
Member
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Honestly, if I were with anyone else in the whole world, I would. But. Mr. KM is not a game player, he’s not going to make me wait, he’s not going to make me be surprised, and I so love that about him.

Post # 6
Member
1602 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

i’m giving my boyfriend until the end of the year to propose by himself.

if there’s still nothing, we won’t seperate, but we may have a serious talk haha 😛

Post # 7
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I told S a year ago that after 2-3 years of dating, he should know if he wants to marry me or not. We’re within that timeframe now. He wanted to wait at least 5 years before getting engaged though. I told him that I didn’t think that was acceptable. I think by July, I will be getting really antsy and fed up with waiting. That’s about 3 years of dating and living together for over a year. I have practical reasons though. If I can’t find a job here, I need to move across the country. I am basically here now (partly) because him and I don’t want to put my career on hold without a commitment. I probably could stick it out for one more year but I think that’s it- and that would be a compromise. I am not telling him my “deadline” though. Sigh, it’s hard when timelines don’t match up. I think he might be coming around to my timeframe though.

Post # 8
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I was never the girl that had a time line, I didn’t have a time that I’d like to be married by, didn’t have a timeline for how long into a relationship that I wanted a proposal. 

I am still waiting at this time, and the only reason it’s so hard is because I know the ring is on layaway.  He was the one who told me that he wanted to be married by the time he was 30. (he’ll turn 28 in February)

He says that my proposal will be sometime this year, but he wants to surprise me with the when, where and how, and so I’m just anxiously waiting now.

To answer your question though… I think possibly if we had been together for four or five years and marriage had never even been discussed then I’d be kinda upset… but if we talked about it and knew when it was coming or that it was in our future I might be more willing to wait.

Post # 9
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

He knew from the get go I wouldn’t wait around for years. I’ve thought about this for a few weeks and I think Dec. 31st of this year, if I’m not engaged, we’ll have a talk about where the relationship is going. I don’t want to leave him and God knows I love him, but I can’t wait forever. I need more of a commitment than girlfriend.

By the 31st of this year, it will have been 2 years together. That doesn’t sound like much, but I’m 28, soon to be 29 in 3 months. I’m not 22, fresh out of college, with a glint in my eye of the world being my oyster.(Maybe that was just meafter undergrad?LOL) I’ve done everything I need to do to prepare-degrees, about to buy a house before the summer, traveled, lived alone, built up savings, paid off debt, Roth IRAs,(LMAO) etc.

It’s time for the next step. Hopefully he asks before the year is out.

Post # 10
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I couldn’t wait much past the first of this year… well still no ring, but we did set a date, so that is progress that can hold me over for a bit longer.  Also, there is a deadline for the ring, one year before the wedding date.  We went ring shopping two years ago, so I really didn’t think it would be this long, but now I know that he and I are on the same page I feel a lot better about it.

Post # 11
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think a lot of it depends on the relationship, but with reference to my current situation, I wouldn’t wait more than 2.5 years. If we weren’t engaged at that point I’m not sure I would just leave, but there would be a very serious discussion. I’ve seen way too many girls get caught in the waiting trap and I am resolved to not be one of them!

But besides that, I’m at a place in life where I want to start my life with J. I’m ready to be more than a girlfriend– I want to begin our life together, and to me that means at least getting engaged.

Post # 12
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I don’t have a timeline or a deadline, but, as I am older (39), I am eager to get started trying to have a family.  I don’t have three or four years to wait, so I will just have to see what he’s thinking as far as timing goes. 

Post # 13
Member
946 posts
Busy bee

I’ve been with my boyfriend for just nine months, but I know he’s the one.  Honestly, I don’t care how long I have to wait as long as I end up getting to spend the rest of my life with this man.  More specifically, I’m thinking it’s going to happen within the next year.  I start grad school (PhD in econ) Fall of 2011, so I’d like to get married before then…and if not, I’d want to wait until after I graduate.  But life doesn’t always happen exactly according to plan.  So I’m just waiting! 

Post # 14
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee

hmm i don’t know that i have an exact date about when i would leave the relationship if a ring didn’t come… it’s a bit hard for me to imagine because we are both on the same page/timeline about marriage, careers, buying a house, etc. but i think if we had lived together for more than 3 years and a ring wasn’t in sight i’d get antsy.

Post # 15
Member
604 posts
Busy bee

hmm I don’t have a timeline for him because he wants to do it, is ready and willing just the finances have to catch up to our plans lol

Post # 16
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’ve been with my bf for almost 2.5 years and over the past 6 months I have been getting really frustrated because I’m ready to get engaged and get married.  We have had a lot of serious discussions about marriage and engagement. I have been telling myself the last 6 months or so “if he doesn’t do it by X then I’m done” because I’m so sick of waiting.  Luckily, I found a receipt to the diamond and setting a couple of weeks ago =) so I think I am a lot more calm now knowing that it will happen soon. I don’t think there has to be a timeline for someone to propose but I also don’t believe in waiting for a long time, especially if both people are ready to start their lives together.

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