(Closed) Question for those of you with under 100 guests at dinner.

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

If you really wanna trim, just go intimate and more immediate .Stick to family. Don’t go into the second cousin range. Close friends. 

Trim off distant familly,and acquaintances.

Or if family is first and really important, invite all family, but trim down plus ones and non family guests.

Who is making up the majority of guests? Plus ones?

Post # 5
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We are only inviting our closest friends, and not giving very many plus ones.  For example, some of my single girlfriends aren’t getting them since they all know each other. Some of FI’s friends are, since they don’t know anyone else there.  I think there are only 2 people who have true plus ones, in that they can bring whoever they want.

I am also still deciding whether or not to invite my cousins.  I rarely see them and we aren’t close.  They are quite a bit older than me so we didn’t grow up together.

My parents aren’t inviting any of their extended family or any of their friends.  It’s basically immediate family, aunts and uncles, and close friends.  We are only inviting 2 family friends who are like my godparents.

 

Post # 6
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well I love  a big ol family affiar! Def keep the people with 10 year bf’s and the BM’s SO’s because they wedding party should be alloted a plus one. Maybe some of those cousins with flaky relationships? lol

I think you are def screwed on the catering unless you just can find something cheaper!

What are you doing for the church capacity issue?

 

Post # 8
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

its so hard to trim when you have a big family. but you cant please everybody, and if you just explain to them if they have a problem then they might understand. we only wanted 40 guests max.. its now up to 91..  so i feel your pain.. im going to trim trim trim!

Post # 10
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

well we have come to an agreement of no more than 65 (but less would be great!!!). so we are cutting out some of his family. his is massive and not very close. so he is not having some of his neices and nephews. im sure it will offend people but we are the ones who are paying for it not them, and i would rather have the people close to me there on the day rather than those who i have barely met. (we have been together for three years and some of them i havent even met! they dont call each other etc they are not very close) so it will be a cse of this is the amount and who do we want there..

and if they have something to say wel we havent heard from them even to say congratulations on the engagement. so ill just be like oh you do exist.. lol

but really i dont want ppl who do matter to miss out just because we have family who we have nothing to do with come.

oh and we have decided to have an e-party and invite those who we cant invite on the day. (and all the other people who we want there) i know its just another waste of money but my FH is a butcher and so are his bro’s so we will have all the meat for a bbq. (he works with sheep, FBI work for pig, and other beef) and my BI runs the local pizza shop so im sure he will do us a deal. so we can just say we wanted you all to come and celebrate with us but unfortunately we cannot have everyone there for our day.. im sure theres a better way to put it.. lol

im just so over it im sure ill just not care when it comes down to it! just dont feel guilty.. if it was the other way around would they think twice?

Post # 11
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I was limited very strictly to 49 people because of fire codes in our venue. First thing I cut was plus 1s. Meaning unless the couple is married or have children together (as in been together long enough to have children but not officially married yet) they dont get a plus 1. At first it ruffled a few feathers to be sure. A couple of my bridesmaids with new boyfriends were sad faced for a day or two. But ultimately everybody was understanding and it wasn’t a big issue.

Also decided against inviting relatives of relatives that I dont know and family in general that I see no more than once every few years. Keeping it to close family and best friends and although it was tough cutting down the list, now that I’m almost done planning I would want it no other way 🙂

Post # 12
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

we a listed immediate family (brothers sisters parents grandparents) we b listed in state friends and c listed out of state others. we never got to the c list. lol

Post # 13
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We’ve kept our numbers at 50 even with allowing all partners of our guests to come, regardless of whether they’ve been together for years or only weeks. We’ve also allowed +1s for people who won’t really know anyone else.

We kept ours small by only going with close friends. Top 6 each. As soon as we went into the next tier of friends, it became a case of “well, if I invite A, I have to invite B & C too” so we just stuck with the besties.

With family, we’ve invited only those closest to us who we see regularly. For my side, this meant only one set of Auntie/Uncle/Cousins. However it also meant ALL of my GREAT uncles and aunties, which seems strange to most people. We are just much closer to them.

With FI’s family, he didn’t invite any uncles, aunties or cousins. Only parents and siblings. He has 56 first counsins, but just isn’t close to them like I am with mine.

We’re probably offending a lot of people, but too bad for them.

Post # 14
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We had to cut out 1st cousins and stick to only immediate family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and our 2 or 3 closest friends. Inviting 1st cousins would have doubled our current list!

Post # 15
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

1 Rule: If they don’t know both the Bride and the Groom (We’ve been together 4 years now), then they weren’t invited.

We allowed ‘plus 1s’ for guests traveling from out of town, because that would be lonely, even if we didn’t know their ‘plus 1s’.

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