Question for those who are Childfree by choice

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
8579 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Lots of dr’s won’t touch you until you’re at least 25.. some even 35.

Post # 5
8579 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

@nellybee:  I honestly don’t have any answers for you.

We are having children.

I can say that my mother married a younger man, and neither of them want anymore children Her husband was going to get a vasectomy, but they will not do anything with it until he is 35 – He’s 30 at the moment.

And I have no idea why she won’t get her tubes severed, tied, burnt and stepped on.

I think a vasectomy is less painful, faster, and cheaper though.

Post # 6
1098 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Fiance and I are CBC but Fiance and like @jenilynevette said, most doctors won’t perform an operation like tube tying on a woman as young as me (25) which I think is a load of BS. Fiance hasn’t gotten a  traditional vasectomy yet because frankly the procedure freaks the crap out of him and also he’s hoping to eventually get RISUG which is an injectable form of male sterilization that is only available oversees right now. They are starting clinical trials of it here in America but it will probably be a while before it could become available to everyone. Realistically though, I think he will just have to buck up and get a traditional vasectomy sometime before the wedding.


Post # 7
2305 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

My older sister is CBC, and she told me that she’s been to over 10 doctors to try to get her tubes tied, and they all basically said the same thing “we don’t do it on anyone so young because you may change your mind”. She was over 25 when she started trying to find someone to do it, and it doesn’t matter to any of them that her and her husband (who is the same age as her) do not want kids, they all answer “well you may change your mind, and we don’t want to take that option away from you”. She’s 32 now and still hasn’t found anyone to do it!

Post # 8
8363 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Firstly- it is no one else’s business what an individual does with their body. Why not start a thread asking all the people who do want children and are currently taking birth control why they are doing so. I mean if they really want kids why ever prevent it? It is no ones business, that is why.


Secondly- why do people feel like they have the right to question why CBC’ers do something. Why is it generally consider rude to judge pregnant women or parents choices but it is considered ok to question the way CBC’ers live?


Thirdly- why just because you do not want kids would you have an invasive surgery when there are many non invasive procedures out there.


Regardless of whather you want to offend someone or not I find your question offensive. Would you ever ask a woman who cannot (as opposed to chooses not to) have children why she doesn’t have a hysterectomy?


Post # 9
9631 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@j_jaye:  +1

I am going to have children one day but this question is bound to be offensive to many bees who are CBC

Post # 10
4522 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@j_jaye:  Amen to this. 

Holy crap. I am literally too mad to write anything else.

Post # 11
4659 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Expense, unavailability to people my age, pain, time off work, risks. Hormonal birth control is pretty effective. I have no issues getting an abortion if I have to, but HBC has been great so far and nobody has to anesthetize or cut into me or my FH for it to work. 

(Someday one of us may seek a surgical option, but right now, its not really an option for us.)

Post # 12
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I never wanted children, and now am post menopausal and don” t have to worry.

I used an extremely reliable form of BC, but if it had Failed, I would have terminated.

As for a permanent solution, most insurance companies won’t consider paying until you are over 35 and if you are single, most doctors won ‘t  even consider it.


Post # 13
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@nellybee:  I tried to get Essure ( non surgical sterilization) but I was not anatomically compatible with the procedure. Apparently I have weird fallopian tubes.


Fwiw, all you have to do is lie and say you already have kids (obviously, this is easier for a man to lie about but it worked in my case as well)


Post # 14
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My Darling Husband had a vasectomy, and even so, I still use birth control just in case.  The thought of having children terrifies me.

Post # 15
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m not CBC, but when me and my Fiance get pregnant and have our first (and only) baby together I’m getting my tubes tied…burned…. Whatever lol!

i don’t find your question offensive at all. Perhaps because I have a child (and have had both a miscarriage and an abortion) the question affects me differently?

The abortion was really difficult on me. I would take surgery to make sure I never had to feel that again.

Post # 16
1020 posts
Bumble bee

Aside from problems getting sterilized because of being deemed “too young” by a doctor, vasectomies and tubal ligations are surgeries that cost money and take time to recuperate from (especially the tubals).

Also, it’s worth noting that there are reversible forms of birth control that are more effective than the average sterilization. The birth control implant actually has a lower failure rate than the vasectomy, which is more effective than a tubal. 


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