(Closed) Question for working moms: if you could be a SAHM?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: I went back to work
    0-3 mo, because I wanted to : (1 votes)
    2 %
    0-3 mo, had no choice : (10 votes)
    22 %
    3-6 mo, because I wanted to : (4 votes)
    9 %
    3-6 mo, had no choice : (2 votes)
    4 %
    6 mo-1 yr because I wanted to : (3 votes)
    7 %
    6 mo-1 yr, had no choice : (0 votes)
    1-2 yr, because I wanted to : (1 votes)
    2 %
    1-2 yr, had no choice : (1 votes)
    2 %
    2+ because I wanted to : (2 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    519 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I don’t have kids yet, but I plan on being a Stay-At-Home Mom for a while after I have kids. My husband’s in med school, so we wouldn’t have kids until he was in residency. Once he’s an actual doctor, we really won’t have to worry about my pathetic little income. I want to at least be a Stay-At-Home Mom for the first year or so. I’d go back to work because I want to. 

    Post # 4
    7770 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We are expecting and I want to be with baby for the first year.  After that I CANNOT imagine not working at least part time.  There is so much I want to do with myself, I hope to strike a balance.  I am an artist, so I have to work to be happy.  We are more family oriented than finance oriented, and I have never made that much, so that doesn’t really factor into our decision.  For us it might cost more to find daycare.  I really don’t know exactly how it will go or what we will do, just have to see.  I could possibly work part-time from home (nothing can really stop me, so I know I will either way) and then when the kids are in school get back to concentrating more on my career and goals.

    Post # 5
    7499 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I have two girls and I work full time.  I went back to work at 10 weeks with both of them.  We could certainly afford for me not to work, but I might lose my mind!  That being said, I might enjoy just working part time.  But my current job does not permit it and it seems like a lot of work to go find a part time job that would probably pay less as well.

    Post # 6
    861 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I am a lawyer and so is my husband and I am planning on taking 6 months fully off and then going back to work part time after that. We are doing it that way because it’s matter of balance for us – we don’t want only one of us to be financially responsible  for the family and only one of us skilled at taking care of the kids. We both came from traditional type families, and his mom didn’t go back to work until the youngest was 20 and they had gotten divorced. We both think that moms not working did not create the best dynamic in our own families, so we are looking  for a way to find a better balance for us!

    Post # 8
    2622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    this is kind of an indirect answer to your question,  but many women are more comfortable going back to work if they have some time at home. So maybe a year would be a good amount of time to plan for. 3 months isnt really enough to make many women feel comfortable leaving the little one.

    Another time Google was losing women was after they had babies. The attrition rate for postpartum women was twice that for other employees. In response, Google lengthened maternity leave to five months from three and changed it from partial pay to full pay. Attrition decreased by 50 percent. 


    Post # 10
    77 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I answered because I had to – but I did want to too. 

    I wish I could have stayed home a little longer but I am a career driven person and really enjoyed going back to work.  It’s not easy and I do wish I had more time at home so our apartment wasn’t always a mess and could make dinner before 6pm, but it has its ups and downs.  I feel having my own career is fulfilling and I really do love my job, although I wish I had a little more flexibility. I work in advertising – so crazy hours, but lots of fun too.

    Post # 11
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I was on maternity leave (Registered Veterinary Technician) when we decided that I would not be returning to work. Daycare is just way too expensive and I didn’t want to put her in one anyway. In our situation we would actually lose money if I worked and he makes enough money to where I don’t have to. I will go back to work eventually  (I am itching to make my own money again), but right now I am more then happy to stay home with her. I really don’t know how long that will be but most likely when she starts school. I am planning on taking online classes before then though and not working gives me time to do that.

    It is not all that bad staying at home really. She keeps me occupied, the house is spotless and I am able to cook meals instead of eating out all the time. The days certainly seem to go by a lot faster then when I was working. I exercise more then I used to and have time to spend with friends. I can’t see doing this without a child to care for though….

    Post # 12
    2622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MrsRugbee:  i am not in law, but I am in corporate management and I can tell you… it DOES affect careers.

    Of all the jobs I have had, the vast majority of upper management the women did not actually have kids. But the men did. 

    At my DH’s job, its the same thing. In fact most of his colleagues that are men have stay at home wives. This is one of the biggest companies in the word at the moment and has great maternity benefits.

    And I do not live in the bible belt. This is in “progressive” San Francisco area.

    Its a reality that at the minimum perceptions about working mothers and fathers are different. And its also a reality that the moms are expected to more often thannot to be the one to be available for the kid and their needs, when fathers are not expected to be available. IE staying home sick, appoitments, games,  cooking dinner etc.

    I dont think your worries are unfounded.

    Post # 13
    388 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    When we have a baby I will take 6 months off (As I will get 3 months full pay and 3 months half pay). I would get no money for another 6 months so a year off isn’t an option. Whilst after the past few weeks I have had at work makes me think I would love to be a Stay-At-Home Mom, I think I would go mad. Will probably go back part time.


    Post # 14
    806 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    i was in the military when i had my son, so we only got 6 weeks, didnt have a choice. if i have the chance next time ill probably wait at least 3-6 months

    Post # 15
    14657 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    We don’t have kids yet, but I will be going back to work after the standard 3 or 4 month maternity leave out of both sort of choice and necessity.  We technically could afford to have me be a Stay-At-Home Mom, and definitely could have if we had a less expensive home.  But finances would tighter than comfortable.  I prefer the financial freedom my addtional salary affords and and the ability to save for earlier retirement, traveling, and for our childrens future as well.  I may try to reduce my work week to just work 3 or 4 days a week though, but we’ll have to evaluate what that does to our budget vs how I truely feel once there is a child in the picture.


    Post # 16
    692 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Currently, my income takes us from ‘just making it’ to ‘comfortable, paying off debt and adding to savings’.  Our plan is to put off TTC until a combination of moving and career-switching makes DH’s salary enough to keep us in that ‘comfortable’ range.

    Since Darling Husband is a lawyer and I’m an artist, and since we agreed that having a SAHP until all future-potential kiddos are in school was the best option, its probably going to be me.  I don’t make as much as he does, but I can work from home much more easily than he could.  Which I plan to do as much as possible, because while I’d love to be a SAHP, I don’t want to end up in a position where I HAVE to work and haven’t for so long that my skills and experience are useless.

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