Post # 1
I’m a little embarrassed asking this question on here so I created an “AltarEgo” account to remain annonymous. HaHa, get it? Anyhoo…
Sometimes when my Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have sex, he has a hard time “finishing.”
The “problem” isn’t all the time, and not what I would consider “a lot” by any means, just sometimes.
He swears up and down that he enjoys the sex, and that it feels good to him; he doesn’t really know why he can’t finish. He thinks it might be because he’s tired or because his muscles are fatigued, or some other reasons that depend on the day such as being stressed or having a belly ache.
He tries really hard to reassure me that it’s not me, and that he doesn’t have erectile dysfunction or anything like that.
I was just wondering if this was normal. He’s my first serious sexual partner and I’ve never been with anyone else who’s had issues finishing. But then again, I also haven’t slept with anyone past the excitement of a new relationship.
Like I said, he RARELY does it, probably once every 5 times we have sex. Does anyone elses partner experience this and what are the reasons? How should I respond when it happens again?
Thank you for your advise. 🙂
Post # 3
just curious…is he on any medication? anything at ALL?
Post # 4
i’ve experienced it on and off with Fiance. he’s on some medication that causes it and FI has mastered “holding it in” per se… like when he feels it coming 10 minutes in and wants the sex to last longer… but that almost always meant that i would get off, it’d be really hard for him to after having sex for so long.
it’s not anything about you, it’s really a phsyical friction type of thing. we’ve stopped when neither one of us was feeling like we were going to climax as well.
i think the most important thing is communication about it and knowing that both of you are happy in your sex life.
it hardly ever happens now for us, cuz im so tired all the time after work/school that Fiance is super excited when we have sex. LOL. needless to say he doesn’t last much longer than ten minutes 😛
Post # 5
My fiance almost never “finishes,” but appears to definitely enjoy sex!
I’ve learned that it’s not me and that different people climax differently. Apparently this is a problem he’s had with past partners as well.
Post # 6
Yeah, the boy doesn’t always finish. But I don’t always finish either, you know? I certainly (almost) enjoy sex but some nights I just know I’m not going to finish.
If one of us gets the feeling we won’t be finishing that night, we tell the other one. That way we can either focus on just having fun or we “give up” for the night and just cuddle 🙂
Post # 7
Definitely let us know if he takes any medication. That could have an affect on the “finishing”
Post # 8
I think it’s typically a medication issue. Pot smokers seem to have this issue, too.
IF it is not either of those, maybe “Too much” masterbation? I know supposedly there is no such thing as too much, but if he is extremely accustomed to his own hand…
I guess I would say, if he isn’t worried about it, I wouldn’t be, either.
Post # 9
Does he finish a little too quickly some of the other times? I’ve heard that men who are typically “premature” tend to get in the habit of trying to hold it in, to the point that when they want to finish, they can’t.
Post # 10
Fiance has “not finished” from time to time and it is usually because he holds it in earlier (before I have finished) and he wants me to finish first. When this happens sometimes we take a break (like literally just lie there while still… ugh… connected) and then he musters up some energy to continue and he can usually finish but there have been a couple occasions when he hasn’t.
Orgasm’s can be mental with guys just as they are with females. If he is stressed or not 100% there (thinking about other things) it can affect him “finishing”.
Don’t worry it is NOT YOU!
Just try things out (rest periods) etc. and try to find what works for him
Post # 11
I’m really interested in the response to this, because it’s an issue for Fiance and me as well.
My Fiance has NEVER finished in intercourse, in over a year of sex. He says it’s because of the condoms we use (which are decent quality, but still a barrier). We’ve NEVER done it without one. He says he still enjoys it and he’s confident that when we lose the condoms after the wedding there won’t be any more problems. I believe him because he is able to finish with oral. But at the same time I was worried for a while, because I do want us to be able to have children the natural way.
Post # 12
The only time my Fiance hasn’t finished is when he hasn’t been well. Not very often at all. Maybe twice in the whole time we have been together.
I am wondering if it is an experience issue, and that is not bad. My Fiance was alot more experienced then me when we got together, and he knows how he likes to finish basically. We have about three different things I can do for him which helps him to finsih. All of which he taught me. And he has tricks that he has learnt that he uses for me, and he knows what I like and what makes me finish. So I very rarely miss out either.
And in the time I have been with him I have learnt the tricks that he likes, but have also learnt to put my own spin on them. And have actually suprised him. One night I was too intense for him, and U was proud
My suggestions is to relax and experiment. Explore of other and find out what you each like and what really pleases each other.
Post # 13
I wouln’t be too terribly concerned. I would begin to get worried if it becomes a more frequent problem, or if the Fiance gets updet about it.
Post # 14
No, he’s not on any medication at all actually. He takes a lot of vitamins…? I don’t know whether or not vitamins have an effect. Other than that, he works out regularly, isn’t overweight, and doesn’t masturbate too often at all. We have sex pretty regularly, so neither of us do.
Post # 15
@littlemissmango, that makes sense. Sometimes he does have to hold it back. More frequent than not.
Also, he’s told me that when we begin having sex w/o a condom, then put one on the sensation changes and it’s sometimes difficult to get the previous feeling back. At least that’s what he says…
Post # 16
@marjojo, my Boyfriend or Best Friend says the condoms are a problem too. For the longest time we used the regular trojans (in the turquoise box) but then switched to the ultra-thin (in the grey box). If he had it his way, we wouldn’t use condoms at all, but he way prefers the ultra-thin as opposed to the regular. Although he still notices a difference, it’s not as big of a difference. He likes them a lot. You might wanna try those.