(Closed) Question of faith

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Hmm… that’s tough.

I was at a wedding where something similar happened. I grew up in a religious environement, although I am not now, so it didn’t really throw me. But I know my date was offended, and from the look of some of the crowd, I don’t think he was the only one. (I should say that the bride and groom are deeply rooted in their faith, and the vast majority of the guests were members of the church).

I’m not really sure how to handle it though. First, I’d mention it to your Fiance and make sure he’s on board with you. It would be extremely awkward if you mentioned it to the preacher and your Fiance didn’t immediately back you up. I would bring it up during your discussions about the text of the ceremony, perhaps mention that you’d like the service to be "inclusive of the beliefs of all your guests, so that they may feel comfortable." You never know – he may only do it upon request, or he may be frequently asked by brides and groom to leave it out.

Post # 4
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I know that my pastor has a couple versions of his wedding sermon for reasons such as this.  I think if your Fiance is also on board and if you approach it respectfully, the pastor will understand.  I would tell him that while you believe in Jesus, some of your guests do not, and while you have discussed faith with these individuals in the past and do not have a problem doing so generally, that you do not want to make them uncomfortable at your wedding.  I personally would add something about a fear doing so would be more likely to turn them off of religion than to result in a sincere conversion.    

Post # 5
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

he asked people to accept Christ during the wedding ceremony? as a churchgoing Christian (who is very active in the leadership of my church), i think it is absolutely out of place to do that. a wedding is a beautiful time for the couple to speak of their own commitment to God, and to each other during a wedding. the guests are there for the couple, and should not be singled out or made uncomfortable – they’re guests.

i think you should just explain to the preacher that you would rather the focus be on you and your fiance and your own commitment and union to each other, not each any every person there’s commitment (or lack of) to God. 

Post # 7
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2007 - a beautiful church and hotel reception

Hmm that is a toughie! Although it does sound like good intentions, and although Christianity IS offensive in general— your wedding should be done at your comfort level. What your preacher says should reflect on the beliefs of you and your Fiance. And totally agree that your Fiance should be on board with this!  I hope you guys are able to work it out!

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