Post # 1
I am creating my own wedding programs and I am having a hard time with the wording for listing our parents. Here is the situation first. My mom passed away when I was 4. My dad was with my step mom from when i was 6 until i was 21 or 22. They are now no longer together. My step mom just recently got remarried. My dad is still single. My FH’s dad passed away a couple years ago and his mom is not remarried. I also have my step brother( son of step mom from her first marriage) who passed away that I am listing, we were really close. This is what I have right now for listing our parents (and my brother) on the program:
Step Mother of the Bride-KC
Father of the Bride- SB
Mother of the Groom AD
On this special day in our lives, we lovingly remember TB, Mother of the Bride; JD, father of the Groom; and JW, brother of the bride.
my main question is if it is inappropriate to list KC as my step mom. Is there any other options that I am not thinking of to list my stepmom? I am pretty close to her as she has raised me but I never did call her mom, it was always K.
Post # 3
@CSEJ06: I would want to recognize them as well, my only concern would be listing K as your stepmom as she and your dad aren’t married anymore. I don’t know what that would officially make her now other than former or ex stepmother which sounds weird for such an important person in your life. I don’t have a solution, but I think what you have is great other than that one portion.
Post # 4
@HonoraryNerd: I know….I don’t know what to list her as either…..I don’t want to put honored guest or something like that because I think that is just offensive. She has raised me and we are still very close. What about just grouping the three of them under “parents” or something like that and not put the mother of groom, step mom etc…
Post # 5
FH’s parents are divorced, his dad remarried (ages and ages ago), and FH’s birth mother passed away almost 5 years ago. Here is what we did for our programs:
Parents of the Bride
John & Jane Doe
Parents of the Groom
Jim & Sally Smith, and Betty Brown
Jim & Sally Smith are FH’s Dad and Step-Mom, and Betty Brown is his (deceased) bio-Mom. (All names changed, of course.)
We went back and forth about putting “the late Betty Brown” instead, but FH felt it was too “dark” (his words) and he wanted to focus on the love from all three parents, not the fact that one is deceased.
Good luck to you!
Post # 6
@CSEJ06: I think grouping them would work. Then when recognizing those who’ve passed, just saying, “On this special day in our lives, we lovingly remember TB, JD and JW.”
Post # 7
Do you still refer to her as your step mom? Even in just your head? Then list her as such. My step mother has passed, and there’s a chance I’ll have another step mother eventually (my dad is very young), but I will still list her as my step mom.
I would put your bio parent first, and then list her as your step mom. Don’t get into other people’s relationships on your program.
And I’d warn your dad that you are listing her as such on the program, just so he is aware, if it’s a bad situation between them
Post # 8
@cirk: I do still refer to her as my stepmom. So I have decided to list her as my stepmom. I told my dad who wasn’t too happy but I also told him what we were doing to honor my mom, FH’s dad, and my stpebrother. He ultimately said it was my decision and I could do what I want. I think this was partially because he didn’t even want me to invite her at first and I told him that wasn’t an option so he could choose to be a grown up and be there or choose not to be. So I think he knew I would do what I wanted anyways haha. But I feel good about my decision
Post # 9
@CSEJ06: That you are happy with your choice is the only important thing! Good for you for making a decision that you like and can stand by.