(Closed) Question on when to send Thank Yous

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

For the first circumstance, I would wait until you receive the gift to send a thank you card.

For the second (the money situation), I’d honestly write and send the card now…espectially as the giver has been really concerned about whether you had received it, etc.  Make a note of it (just in case the person gives you a card at your wedding).

It sounds kind of gross, but I used Excel to make a “gift” spreadsheet…that way, I could keep track and use my address lists at the same time- super helpful.

Post # 4
1278 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with @ArwenBride:  Wait for the gift for the first one, but send it right away for the sencond one.

Post # 5
3265 posts
Sugar bee

It is always best to send a thank you as soon as the gift is received.  In the first case, you haven’t yet received a gift so hold off on sending the note. 

But for those you have received the gold standard is to get the note in the mail before you go to sleep on the day you receive it.

Post # 7
1699 posts
Bumble bee

You can use a plain sheet of white paper to write a thank-you note, or a plain white fold-over note; you don’t need special wedding thank-you cards. In fact, a plain white fold-over note is considered more “proper” than a printed card or a photo card.

Post # 8
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Send him a non wedding thank you card–you can use a plain notecard like you would send a letter with or just pretty stationary.  For good measure (since this person sounds like a super sweet person) I’d probably send another card with the other wedding thank yous after the wedding, thanking them again for their gift but mostly for being with you on that special day.  It’s a small amount of effort on your part but would probably mean the world to that person.

Post # 9
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We did photo thank you cards with a wedding photo on it.  Obviously, we couldn’t have these made before the wedding, so we just bought a generic box of thank you notes (still pretty and wedding’ish) and used those for any gifts that we received before the wedding.  If you plan to do more personal thank you’s after the wedding, you could also send them one of those, telling them thanks for attending (if they attend).

But I agree with the others – for the gifts you actually receive, you need to send a thank you now.

Post # 10
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

For cash I waited until after the wedding, for presents I send a thank you within two weeks (before the wedding).

After the wedding I send thank yous at 3 weeks (but I think anything under a month is perfect).

I too have an excel spreadsheet. I think it’s smart and a nice way to keep track of thank yous.

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