(Closed) Question on who should pay ?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think the wording is really important here.  I think if you say that you are inviting them to a party, they are going to assume that you are paying for it.  I would maybe call it a ‘get together’ where you are meeting at a local resturant or something to make it seem less formal so people realize they will be paying for themselves.

Post # 4
2641 posts
Sugar bee

So when you say WE’RE having a small party, who do you mean?  Are you and Fiance throwing the party yourselves?  And do the people who are invited basically know they are invited, already?  (You said something about them not being able to come to the Destination Wedding.)

I can’t say I know the etiquette here, so I’m interested in what others have to say.  But I would think the more casual you make this, the less likely they are to think it’s being paid for.  Did you already send out the evite?  I can see why for 15 people, it would be difficult to simply call everyone up.  But a laid back e-mail saying, like MissAsB said, “get together”.  You can say something like, “Even though you can’t make it to the wedding, we’d love to see you all before we go.  We’re planning on meeting up at XYZ restaurant…..Let me know if you can join us.” 

You could also add something like, “First round of drinks and appetizers are on us.”  That way you’re implying the rest is not on you, and doing a nice gesture for those who are coming to celebrate with you.

Post # 6
2641 posts
Sugar bee

OK, so there are other details that need to be worked out  too.  So that’s good.  You (or she ) can just send out another update with that info and say something like, “Dinners will be on separate checks.”  How does that sound?  

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