Post # 1
Is it the norm for all the bridesmaids – including out of state ones, who won’t be attending – to contribute financially to a bridesmaid-hosted bridal shower? Would love to hear opinions. Intentionally holding my own thoughts back until I hear what people say 🙂
Post # 3
I would say no. It is customary for the maid of honor to take on most of the cost of the bridal shower. Sometimes the moms chip in. Bridesmaids usually don’t contribute unless they are asked which is something I have not seen.
Post # 4
I think it depends. One of my BMs did help contribute to one of my showers, but it wasn’t nearly as much as my Maid/Matron of Honor. Granted, it was a non-traditional shower…so the Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man paid for most of it. The 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man offered to bring the games, which were later gifted to Fiance and I.
For my other shower, it’s my Maid/Matron of Honor and my Mom for the most part. Now I feel bad for my Maid/Matron of Honor. Lol. Luckily I may be returning the favor soon! And she’s getting a super Bridesmaid or Best Man gift and some other stuff.
Post # 5
If it’s an invite from Maid/Matron of Honor, then I’d assume she’d cover most of the costs (maybe the other gals can bring desserts or snacks if they attend, etc). If it’s hosted by ‘all BMs,’ then I’d expect them to share pretty equally in the expense.
If, however, it’s impossible for a gal to not be present due to being out of state or otherwise occupied and unable to attend, I wouldn’t expect her to pay in because she’s not there to enjoy the party. She could definitely send her own gift to the bride, but that’s separate than helping host/throw/pay for the shower.
Post # 6
@indibee: <– Also, pretty much what she said. Since she said it 2439484 times better.
Post # 7
If the bridesmaids would like to help host the shower, then they may. It should not be expected of them, and CERTAINLY should be not expected if they cannot attend.
Post # 8
When I was a Maid/Matron of Honor, I didn’t have any help at all with the shower.. so I’d say no, although it sure would be nice. :
Post # 9
No—if they cannot attend because they are out of town—they, in my mind, are exempt.
Where I am from, the bridesmaids and Maid/Matron of Honor do not have the “requirement” of doing any showers or bridal tea—though they do usually throw the bachelorette or lingerie shower.
Usually friends of the bride’s mother does the bridal shower/tea—as we do them quite large—and most bridesmaids are young and not able to spend that much to throw a super nice bridal shower/tea.
It’s a nice to have—but certainly not a requirement.
Post # 10
@MeghanV: No whomever hosts the event bears full responsibility for the costs. Sometimes all the BMs will contribute, but it certainly isn’t required, and this should be discussed privately by them, and determined before anything else is set about the shower.
Post # 11
Thanks for the responses – interesting how different they are.
I’ve honestly never heard of the Maid/Matron of Honor bearing all the costs – all my friends’ showers were hosted by all the bridesmaids (including me). Right now I’m helping with a shower for a bride with a bridal party that is half northeasters and half midwesterners, so there’ve been some differing opinions on how to get ‘er done.
Post # 12
Anytime I’ve been in a wedding, the bridesmaids collectively threw a shower. I think this is primarily because the expense has been too great to have just the Maid/Matron of Honor take on the task.
In a month or so, my bridesmaids will all be hosting a couples shower for us, I can’t wait!