(Closed) Question Re: Escorting of a Widow/New Bride Down Aisle

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’ve never encountered this situation before, but your idea sounds like such a beautiful way to include your in-laws in the next segment of your life. I love that you continue to have a good relationship with them. I assume your own father walked you the first time and wouldn’t mind passing the duty on to your other father. Go for it! I hope your engagement works out the way you hope it will.

Post # 4
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2007

I second ErinSea’s comments!

Post # 5
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

i’m not the posterchild for doing or saying what’s apropriate so i cannot comment on if asking him is "appropriate" but i find your situation very touching!

i’m sure you will do what feels right at the time and i hope your late husband’s father accepts 🙂

good luck!

Post # 6
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

That sounds like a beautiful way to transition from your previous marriage to the new journey you’ll be takinig…with acceptance and good wishes from your current in-laws.

How does your potential new fiance feel about it?  If he’s good with it, then go for it.  It is wonderful that you still have a good relationship with your in-laws, which isn’t always the case.  I think people will think that is a very generous & gracious gesture on your part.

The reason I mention to check in w/ your fiance’s feelings is that I had a very difficult situation with my fiance’s former in-laws who were still "hanging" on to him.  As the "new" person in his life, it proved to be a challenge, but all doubts were cast aside because my fiance always made sure I felt like I was first in his life.

Post # 7
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I would second that you really need to make sure your Fiance is okay with the idea.  It is really wonderful that you have a great relationship with your former in-laws.  However, the idea of your former father-in-law escorting you to your new husband definately carries a connotation of you being passed from your late husband to your new husband, which may not be the image your new husband wants on his wedding day.  As SoCalBeachGirl says, its important that your husband clearly know that he does come first – even though technically he did come second.  It’s harder than you might think to be in that position, so I would try to be sensitive to his feelings.  

Also you don’t say anything about your own father.  Although presumably he did get to escort you down the aisle once before, is he just going to sit in a pew this time while another man gets this honor?  And if so, is he okay with that?

The topic ‘Question Re: Escorting of a Widow/New Bride Down Aisle’ is closed to new replies.

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