(Closed) Question regarding cheating and future cheating

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would it last?
    Yes, it can : (8 votes)
    8 %
    No, It will fail eventually : (37 votes)
    39 %
    Maybe, it depends : (50 votes)
    53 %
    Other : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3471 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    I think this is far too general of a question– there are too many other factors regarding relationships that play a role to make such a broad stroke statement of working or not working.  

    Post # 4
    Member
    118 posts
    Blushing bee

    While I believe infidelity is wrong, wrong, wrong, it is rarely black and white. Depending on the intricate circumstances involved, it is possible for the cheating party to have a relationship that goes the distance. It’s not necessarily likely, but I do personally know of two couples who cheated with each other and have been together now for years.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Was this a one time thing or a continuous affair? I think one can be worked on but not the other. 

    I am also confused, do you mean if the person cheated, the relationship ended and then they went on to marry someone else?

    Then yes it is highly possible that the relationship will work for them even though it did not work for yours.

    Or do you mean if they cheat, stayed in the relationship and then got married to each other anyway?

    Then I think trust issues would get in the way and make it very difficult.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @JessMorgan777:  Okay thank you. Sorry about that.

    Yes, it can probably work for them. Maybe something just clicked for them and they really are in love with each other.

    I have seen it go either way.

    Where the past relationship just wasn’t working. The straying party fell in love with someone else, had an affair and then married that person. They continue to live a happy married life with no issues.

    Then there is the cheater who never changes. Ends up cheating again on his new wife and the cycle keeps going.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3624 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I suppose it could last, but how can you believe the vows that he already made and broke once? You’d know what he’s capable of doing to his wife… why would you want to become the wife?

    Post # 9
    Member
    2105 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    If he could do it to his ex-wife, then he could to it to the woman he left the ex wife for. The same is true if you swap the genders. 

    The way I see it, second marriages in general have a higher divorce rate than first marriages even. Add to the marriage that it started with one person breaking vows and the other being complicit… yeahhhh. 

    It’s one thing to have a marriage on the rocks, meet someone new, and decide to get divorced and date someone new. Physically and/or emotionally cheating is knowingly staying with one person you vowed to stay with while screwing around with someone else. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1406 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I can honestly say that I know of 3 couples that were both married to others before.  They all cheated (although it took them a while to admit this) and divorced their spouses and married each other. 

    When I first met these couples, I had NO idea that they were married before.  They admitted they were in bad marriages before but have been happily married for over 10 years now….so I guess it worked for them. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    3170 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I think it could last, some marriages fall apart and there is no fixing them but for whatever reason they don’t divorce. Yes, it’s wrong to cheat but if the marriage is over and your heart is open and you fallss in love with someone else, you can’t help your feelings. Just because you cheated doesnt mean you are out to hurt someone or that it was meant to happen. I know a couple who didn’t divorce because they couldn’t afford it at the time so they just stayed together but were really seperated. He moved on and found love with another women. He finally got divorced and now they are together and are an amazing couple. It just depends on the situation.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2394 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think it could go either way depending on the relationship.

    In my own life, there have been several examples among people close to me where the guys had their cake and ate it too.

    They cheated on their wives — with their wives’ best friends, with co-workers, etc. — then divorced their wives, left them high and dry with little or no child support, and went on to have long and stable marriages with their former mistresses.

    It’s disgusting, I know.

     

    In another example, my sister’s best friend’s husband cheated on her while she was pregnant. She had no clue until months later, while she was on maternity leave at home with her little one, when the mistress started up with weird phone calls/hanging up, and even sent the wife an unsigned birthday card that simply said, “Happy birthday. He’s cheating.”

    My sister’s friend somehow managed to work things out with her husband. He changed his ways and 15 years later, he is a model husband and father.

    Post # 13
    Member
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I have seen it happen constantly in my life and I have yet to see it work out yet.

    The topic ‘Question regarding cheating and future cheating’ is closed to new replies.

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